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College-bound D Disinterested in Details

mystery2memystery2me Registered User Posts: 114 Junior Member
edited June 2008 in Parents Forum
D will be entering our state flagship in the fall; she was a very motivated high schooler who did an extensive college search and made a well-considered choice at the end with which she still seems happy. However, she is focusing all her attention on her summer job and spending time with friends so that when she gets mailings from the university she barely glances at them. Some have important papers to complete (e.g., health forms) and some are related to being ready to choose courses when she goes to orientation. I find myself fishing them out of junk mail piles so they don't get thrown away.

I know things will work out in the long run and am not battling her about this disinterest in the spirit of not sweating the small stuff during this summer of transition, but I am wondering if other parents have had similar experiences and if I should be somewhat proactive in seeing that things get done or just keeping things in a separate pile in case for now. Any thoughts?
Post edited by mystery2me on

Replies to: College-bound D Disinterested in Details

  • cangelcangel Registered User Posts: 4,127 Senior Member
    Yes, we've been there.

    Chill, open her mail. This often reflects some ambivalence about the transition.
    Remember, if you went to college and had a great experience, which many of us did, you look at this summer as the prelude to some of the best years of her life. She can only see this as a BIG change, which may mean losing many friends.

    Just be certain she doesn't miss any deadlines that are important to life, limb, money and graduating on time, and she will be fine.
  • reasonwhyreasonwhy Registered User Posts: 129 Junior Member
    Yes, I can relate to this. I kept track of the mailings and made sure that my S met deadlines for testing (he is also going to a flagship state U). I would prefer not to be the organizer but decided to do whatever I can to send him off on the right foot, and reduce his anxiety - then it will be up to him. He has gotten more involved and interested since a recent visit to campus for scheduling...
  • cptofthehousecptofthehouse Registered User Posts: 26,432 Senior Member
    Same thing here. Just hope it improves. My kid lost his housing because he did not get forms in on time one year. This time with third kid I love that his college sent everything in a big fat looseleaf binder with the holes in the sheets reinforced. It is very, very well organized and tells him exactly what to do when with everything right there. I think he picked the right school!
  • happy4himhappy4him Registered User Posts: 47 Junior Member
    I'm glad I'm not the only one! My S was always great at keeping things organized, but I have to keep reminding him to read through everything. He is moving 1000 miles away, so I am a little nervous. He is going to his first choice school, and he already knows & likes his roomate, but his GF has another year of school and she is adding stress. What should I do?
  • ellemenopeellemenope Registered User Posts: 11,380 Senior Member
    Mine held on to high school for as long as she could. Didn't start the transition to college till 2 weeks before she had to leave.
  • Faline2Faline2 Registered User Posts: 4,168 Senior Member
    I agree this is perfectly within the range of "differences"
    Some people shrewdly anticipate and others drift and then adapt beautifully...my sons are not like each other and go at change and challenge very differently...keep an eye on things and let them be at home mentally and in the present if they want to for another season before the Sea Change arrives on its own..my second son is such a peach...but he is also simply not as curious about where he is until he arrives
  • ShrinkrapShrinkrap Registered User Posts: 11,788 Senior Member
    My D's school anticipated this and explicitly said " kids don't so parents; read the (blue) book! This was reassuring for both me and My D.
  • mystery2memystery2me Registered User Posts: 114 Junior Member
    Thanks for the replies; I was struggling with what reasonwhy mentioned--I'd prefer not to be the organizer since D's going to be on her own to do so soon. She does have a good history of being on top of things in general, so I think I will chalk it up to the psychology of transition but be sure I know what's going on in terms of communications and deadlines so I can step in with a gentle reminder and the pertinent information if necessary (because, for example, the deadline for automatic enrollment in the student health plan at a fee if proof of insurance isn't submitted may not seem as important to her as it does to me.)
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