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Move-in weekend?

HisGraceFillsMeHisGraceFillsMe Registered User Posts: 4,782 Senior Member
edited July 2008 in Parents Forum
I had orientation at Sonoma State this week, and my parents informed me that my parents wanted me to plan things for move-in weekend.

My college is about an 8-hour drive away, so it's a bit tricky. I'm trying to decide whether I want my parents to stay the night I move in, or have them just head back home.

How did you parents work this move? Any definite do's/don'ts?
Post edited by HisGraceFillsMe on

Replies to: Move-in weekend?

  • dragonmomdragonmom Registered User Posts: 5,985 Senior Member
    8 hours each way - they need to sleep!
    If you are concerned that they will be too much in evidence once the boxes are unloaded, can you search online for some place they might want to visit on the way home? Cool B&B? They may like the idea (hard for you to pitch, though) for making it a romantic weekend.
  • ucsd_ucla_daducsd_ucla_dad Registered User Posts: 8,573 Senior Member
    It depends on what they and you want.

    One plan would be to drive up the day before, stay the night, move you in the next morning, and then take off back home. I've found it best for the parents to take off shortly after the move-in to allow the new student to participate in the move-in mixers they typically have setup for the first day.

    Another plan would be to head up there early, move you in in the afternoon, stay the night, and head back the next morning. Just in case you forgot something you think you need they could hit a store. Regardless, they should allow you some time to mix with your fellow students on move-in day.
  • teriwttteriwtt Registered User Posts: 12,532 Senior Member
    You might want to find out what is on the agenda for move-in day/weekend. D2's school made it very clear that, after moving all freshman in in the morning, we were to say goodbye to them after lunch, and leave. Well, we kind of cheated because we had driven in over 700 miles the day before and hadn't had a chance to go purchase everything she needed AND move her in that morning. So we worked on a shopping list during the move-in, and while she was doing mixer stuff, we hit Target and met her back at her room later that afternoon when they had a break, and helped get the rest of her stuff in her room. But after that shopping trip, we went back to our hotel and spent the night before returning home the next day.

    She didn't mind at all that we 'played' the system because there was still so much stuff to buy.

    For D1 (can't believe it was four years ago already), her move-in time was late morning (she also attended school over 700 miles away), and the orientation schedule was more lax, so we had time to shop and get stuff in her dorm before she was required to be somewhere late afternoon... they gave the kids much more time to get physically settled in their rooms before activities began. When we left, we drove straight through. Now that I think of it, every time we've made those trips (for both D1 and D2) we've always driven it straight through, even if that means we arrive home in the middle of the night.

    Dragonmom - the day we were in route from D2's school on our way home, the Little League World Series was having its two semi-final games (U.S. and International), so we swung through S. Williamsport and watched the two games before coming home. THAT was a long day! Am wondering if H will want to do that again this year.
  • HisGraceFillsMeHisGraceFillsMe Registered User Posts: 4,782 Senior Member
    Thanks for all the advice! :)

    I was thinking that it would be nice for them to stay in town that first night, because then if I need anything I can have them run and pick it up. But I'll definitely look into the schedule. Great point, teri!
  • skiers-momskiers-mom Registered User Posts: 247 Junior Member
    Never underestimate the value of a parent with a car and a credit card when you move somewhere. I personally enjoyed hanging out in DS's college town for an extra day, just to get a feel of the place and have a visual image of his new life. You might do a quick internet search of cool things for them to visit while they're in the neighborhood (museums, hikes, art galleries, water parks, golf courses, nice resturants, whatever they're into).

    Bit of advice - let your mom help you unpack even though you are perfectly capable of doing it yourslelf. It's part of the send off ritual and makes us feel needed one last time.
  • ellemenopeellemenope Registered User Posts: 11,380 Senior Member
    >>Never underestimate the value of a parent with a car and a credit card when you move somewhere.<<

    This is a truth!
  • gladmomgladmom Registered User Posts: 810 Member
    My S's school has many activities to choose from for students and parents on move-in day. If your school has the same, you may want to arrive the the night before and stay at a hotel nearby so you can move in early and your parents will have time for some of these activities if they so desire. We are flying cross country a couple of days early and are staying with family an hour or so away. We'll rent car and do the buying of extra stuff before move-in day, because my H has to be back the day after.

    The time for the final good-bye at his school is right before dinner, a student-parent get-together with speeches from some officials. The day will have us going our separate ways for things after setting up the dorm room, and meeting up for lunch and then the pre-dinner good-bye. Since our S will be so far away, I like the idea of spending the day on campus, even if we are not with our S all of the time.
  • Bec5656Bec5656 Registered User Posts: 143 Junior Member
    Plus Sonoma is not exactly a bad place to spend the weekend. Maybe your parents can make a mini vacation out of it!
  • calmomcalmom Registered User Posts: 20,552 Senior Member
    Plenty to do for your parents in Santa Rosa, and I also think the mini-vacation is a good idea if they want to stay a couple of nights before driving home. It's wine country and there are some really nice resorts in Lake County or Russian River area they might want to consider. (So I'm thinking maybe they book one night in motel near the school, then another in a more romantic or fun area nearby, and then they can drive back down the following day after a day of rest & fun)
  • ellemenopeellemenope Registered User Posts: 11,380 Senior Member
    Agree with calmom--driving straight home after dropping kid off at college is very depressing. We took a mini-vacation before going home. Gave us something to look forward to.
  • bessiebessie Registered User Posts: 1,818 Senior Member
    With the first one, we drove up the night before then moved him in and drove eight hours home. Very stressful and depressing. We have already planned to go straight from dropping off son number two to a nice hotel somewhere in wine country for a couple of days. In any case, your parents will probably be in the way after a couple of hours. It becomes very obvious that it is time to leave when you, your spouse, your kid, the roommate, and his parents are all trying to fit into the dorm room. The schools usually try to keep the kids pretty busy and the parents are "invited to leave" after lunch (at the latest).
  • curiousercuriouser Registered User Posts: 1,362 Senior Member
    We did the same thing as teriwtt and skiersmom. Having your parents around to run out and get the things you most certainly will forget, or will prefer to buy once arrived, will be invaluable.

    For both our kids, we moved them in the am, ran errands in the afternoon, said goodbye around dinner. We stayed the night (long drives involved in both cases), and headed back home the next day. Funny, but I was much more emotional on the way there than when leaving. Maybe because I could see how excited they were to be starting their new adventures.

    (It definitely hit me again later though!)
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Registered User Posts: 35,861 Senior Member
    you might want to do a search for previous threads on this topic
    Often schools do have some sort of events planned for parents. Going over paperwork at least.
    We stayed for several days- but we were capable of entertaining ourselves ;)
    Helped her move in, got the things she forgot & looked around the area Afterall it was only 3 hours away and we planned to be back.
  • mom60mom60 Registered User Posts: 8,205 Senior Member
    We had a 6 hour drive. We had planned on staying two nights. His move-in time was in the afternoon. We ended up getting up there in time to move him in the first afternoon. We did the Target run and got his room set up. He was participating in the last orientation session so not everyone was moving in. His roommate was not. We took him out to dinner. Gave him the option of motel or dorm room to sleep. He took the dorm. The next morning we met up and did things on campus. Set up his cash card, met with disablities advisor. Orientation started at noon. We went to hear the President speak. After that we could tell he was ready for us to leave. We checked out of our motel and went to lunch. We were sad but not ready to go all the way home. We drove half way home and spent the evening in our old college town and drove home the next day. We had a mini vacation.
    With our older child my husband flew with her and spent 3 days. She was more hesitant about new things and ended up sleeping at the hotel the nights he was there. Each kid is different.
    For Sonoma your parents have many options. I would definitely have them plan on spending a night or two. They could take some time to drive out to the coast. Bodega Bay is a short drive from Rohnert Park and it would be a beautiful time to go out. Plus the ocean is not at all like Southern Ca. If they like funky they could stay in Guerneville on the Russian River. Or could stay in Santa Rosa and visit Sonoma and some wineries. Sonoma and Santa Rosa could be really hot!
    Or they could leave you and head down to San Francisco and stay a night or two. It can be a refreshing stay especially after the heat of Sonoma County. If my memory is correct I think your parents are going to be going home to an empty house.
    So think kindly before asking them to drive you up. drop off and get back in the car.
  • ChedvaChedva Super Moderator Posts: 30,349 Super Moderator
    My d's school had "Parents' Orientation" the day after move-in. We went the night before (6 hr drive), moved her into the dorm in the AM, helped her unpack, coordinated with roommate's parents on Walmart trip, got various electronics, etc., set up while the girls were out doing college-type things, went to the various activity setups (helped get ID, etc.), had dinner together (planned by the school). Then went to Parents' Orientation the next day, which included some events with the kids, said goodbye before dinner & left for home.

    Check to see if your school also has such a "Parents' Orientation".
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