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I think my parents are over reacting.

ellen.leeellen.lee Registered User Posts: 23 New Member
edited May 2009 in Parents Forum
After receiving an admission offer from a good university,
I caught senoritis and kind of slacked off.

I skipped two days of school and about 10 classes in two months...

However, I am getting all A's in all of my classes with average 95.6%
and I think there's nothing wrong with me.
Other kids are skipping way more than I do and their parents don't care a bit...

My mom, when she found out I was skipping school,
basically freaked out and said that I need to go to ALL of my classes.
Why does it matter so much to her that I go to classes if I'm getting good grades?

I'd like to hear from other parents why attendance is so important to my mom..

btw, she really, really freaked out -
she said if I skip one more class she wouldn't consider me as her daughter.
Post edited by ellen.lee on

Replies to: I think my parents are over reacting.

  • MD MomMD Mom Registered User Posts: 6,728 Senior Member
    "Don't ask, don't tell" works in more than one context.
  • sharonohiosharonohio Registered User Posts: 563 Member
    I think skipping school means you didn't go to school AND didn't discuss your not attending with your parents. Your parents probably feel that they can't trust you to discuss important things with them (and yes it may be because you know your parents won't agree with what you want to do).

    Your beliefs that if you are keeping your grades up going to class isn't that important and others are skipping more than you are all valid, BUT, you're in high school and the rules are that you are supposed to go to school. Your parents care about the rules. Other parents don't. Nothing you say will change the way your parents feel.
  • chinabluechinablue Registered User Posts: 814 Member
    I think she might be afraid that she has lost control. Skipping school means she does not know where you are and what you are doing. There is nothing more scary than the unknown. Reassure her that you were not up to mischief and get back to school.
  • astrophysicsmomastrophysicsmom Registered User Posts: 4,326 Senior Member
    Maybe she's concerned that you'll take this new attitude to college with you. Also, all of a sudden, you're acting significantly differently that the daughter she loves so much, and it's scaring her.
  • ellen.leeellen.lee Registered User Posts: 23 New Member
    I was not doing drugs or anything serious..
    I just went to the University library (there are comfy chairs there)
    and drew computer illustrations on a labtop..
  • doamedoame Registered User Posts: 333 Member
    That sounds like frustrated mom drama....

    BUT - quit skipping school. Your mom/parents work hard for the life you have. Going to school for, at most, 6 hours a day isn't much to ask. Congratulations on being bright as you are and being accepted to a good University. I'd bet your mom/parents will be paying for most of it.

    It's certainly not as big a deal as others, but just give her the respect. It's not too much to ask. Summer will soon be here...it's really just weeks away & then this will be water under the bridge.
  • sunnyfloridasunnyflorida Registered User Posts: 4,790 Senior Member
    Look, if you miss enough work it will effect your grades. And in some areas, too many missed days means you don't graduate. And not going to school and not being home means you are sneaking around doing activities that your parents have no idea of. It's not just the missing school. It's the dishonesty, the days filled with who knows what. And peers may not be as sensible as you are.

    What you do at college is one thing, but at home you are still answering to your folks. And if they are paying for college, you will still be answering to them to some degree.

    You are an adult at 18. But until you are totally self supporting, you will have to answer to your folks if you are provided a bed, food, transportation, college expenses.
  • HuntHunt Registered User Posts: 26,917 Senior Member
    Parents think in terms of chains of consequences; teens don't. So here's your mother's likely thought process: she's skipping school; she'll get caught; she'll be expelled; her college admission will be rescinded; she'll become a homeless drug addict and die. You will not be able to change this thought process--the best thing to do is go to class and be happy that your mother loves you.
  • minimini Registered User Posts: 26,431 Senior Member
    I think you need to figure out how to be a better forger.
  • zoosermomzoosermom Registered User Posts: 26,181 Senior Member
    When my daughter was a senior and had received her acceptances, we agreed that she could skip a day a month just to have for herself. I don't love the skipping classes thing. I've personally seen situations where the teachers whose classes were skipped penalized students who didn't skip others. So I told my kids if they have to skip, take the whole day, but let me know first.
  • CenthCenth Registered User Posts: 407 Member
    And please remember, you are in school to continue learning. You may think that there is nothing left to learn in HS but the better your foundation, the better you will do in college also. I'll bet you have AP exams in the next couple of weeks and I'm sure she wants you to do well by studying for them and she doesn't necessarily know that you're working if you are not even where she expects you to be.
  • mathmommathmom Registered User Posts: 31,327 Senior Member
    mini, we get robocalls every time my son "skips" a class. So far every time it's been something the school ought to have known about - testing, required assemblies etc. In our school if you skip too much you automatically flunk - so be careful!
  • momofthreeboysmomofthreeboys Registered User Posts: 16,589 Senior Member
    As a mom I would say if it was my child "suck it up, attend classes, think of it as your job. When you are a real adult you can't just call into work sick because you don't want to go to work. Too bad, you don't "like" high school anymore. It's almost over so just cross the finish line and play fairly. Your behavior is concerning me because you will have alot more freedom in college and you certainly aren't showing me that you are mature and ready enough to leave home." That is what I would say. Of course your mom is mad. Use that brain you inherited.
  • peppermintloungepeppermintlounge Registered User Posts: 76 Junior Member
    Ditto astromom's comments. The skip is a negative behavior, outside what she expects of you, and wants for you, and she reacts negatively almost in proportion to the shock she's experienced that you would do something out of character without telling her.

    Been there with my ds. As a senior, he did a number of things that shocked me - things I never would have expected him to do - but he had a greater sense of his own independence, and his ability to control outcomes, than I believed. I thought the consequences would be negative from the behaviors and they were - he just thought he could act as he wished, and control the consequences.
  • CenthCenth Registered User Posts: 407 Member
    Oh and btw, you and your parents can go to court if you miss too much school and depending on where you live.
This discussion has been closed.