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Some insight for those who may be unaware.

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Replies to: Some insight for those who may be unaware.

  • toombs61toombs61 Registered User Posts: 775 Member
    Yipes! My son is on the waitlist at Exeter. Because he applied for admission to the 10th grade and Exeter has suffered a low yield for that grade this fall, my son has a fair chance (better than 1 out of 3 according to my calculations) of Exeter taking him off the waitlist. Based upon the testimony on this thread, it sounds like my son and I should run, not walk, to withdraw my son's name from that waitlist, especially in light of the fact that he has already received an offer to attend another HADES school. (I am now inclined to pull the plug on Exeter completely for a number of reasons, including growing investment in time, excitement and energy in another HADES school and these scary remarks from Exeter students.)

    Why is it that the grim reports on any BS I read on CC are almost always from Exeter students? Are they the only ones bold enough to tell the truth about their school, or is Exeter truly the only BS that crushes the life and spirit out of too many of their children?
  • seikuuseikuu Registered User Posts: 237 Junior Member
    I think that even if Exeter was so demanding of its students, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

    The Chinese people have a saying of "eating bitter", which is to say, experiencing hardship, often for a 'gain' in the future. I feel that part of going to a 'top-tiered' boarding school like Exeter is learning how to manage time and to persevere in the face of adversity, thereby gaining the ability to "eat bitter" (determination).

    While I am a bit daunted by everything I hear, I look forward to this challenge, and I hope I will be able to persevere. After all, one will eventually experience hardship in his/her life. Depending on how early one experiences it, the rest of one's life will either be difficult or hard, and I'd rather learn how to deal with hardship earlier than later.
  • fun is funfun is fun Registered User Posts: 1,035 Senior Member
    Does Exeter still allow the seniors to beat the freshman for being late to meals?
  • kentschooliekentschoolie Registered User Posts: 125 Junior Member
    Saer: I know you're way smart, it's so obvious even if you're not trying. You tend to have the pulse of situations that are pretty accurate.
    Just visited the holocaust museum and I was just sick about it all.

    Toombs: Go Bearcats! Excellent academics with more good vibes.

    I sure don't need four grueling years and I like sleep too much! Never wanted to apply to Exeter anyway, it has absolutely no appeal to me.
  • istoleyournose!istoleyournose! Registered User Posts: 607 Member
    I think exeter gets a lot of resentment for it's prestige, some of which is merited while the rest is not. It seems to be part of exeters culture, to complain about their workload but I think most of it is talk. I'm really excited about going there in the fall.

    Also, as a side note, a lot of the exeter bashing seemed to start AFTER march 10th. Semi-joking but also seriously, I think a lot of people are bitter.
  • NoDramaNoDrama Registered User Posts: 208 Junior Member
    "Also, as a side note, a lot of the exeter bashing seemed to start AFTER march 10th. Semi-joking but also seriously, I think a lot of people are bitter. "

    Doesn't make sense. People got rejected everywhere (Deerfield, Anodover etc. had lower acceptance rates). It can't be the only reason for all the bashing. Not saying Exeter deserves the bashing, but "bitter factor" can't be the explaination.
  • erlangererlanger Registered User Posts: 488 Member
    The OPs sentiment about no-rest at Exeter is likely true for some students (but not all) at any HADES school. No question, some kids will make themselves crazy with the workload, intensity and competition. And a boarding environment will undoubtably intensify the stress for some. I think each parent needs to dig deep and know their own kids. And toombs, don't kid yourself about E vs. HK. Hotchkiss has a reputation for being a pressure cooker. We know at least 5 students there, all of whom say the pressure is intense. And on our tour, more than any other school, we saw students who looked exhausted and some sleeping on the floors at 11 am.
  • catgcatg Registered User Posts: 516 Member
    i agree with erlanger. it is not exclusive to Exeter. As a student at SPS told me, "we have classes 6 days a week and Sunday is for homework"
  • SaerSaer Registered User Posts: 1,494 Senior Member
    Exeter enjoys its reputation, both good and bad. The good makes it more desirable to applicants and families, while the bad makes them seem a little edgier and hardcore. That's a teenager's 5-second interpretation, don't take my word for it.

    I feel like Exeter would have crushed me. "My best isn't good enough", etc. I like winning on occasion. In fact, I'd love to win all the time! I know going to BS will take a lot of victories away from me, but in fact, that's GOOD. And yet, I don't want my self esteem crushed on a daily basis because everyone is so much better than I am.
  • toombs61toombs61 Registered User Posts: 775 Member
    erlanger, I'm sure that Hotchkiss can be as demanding as Exeter, if not more so at times. In some ways, I would be surprised and disappointed, as a potential Hotchkiss parent, if it weren't. All parents expect BS to be exacting and demanding in certain areas of academic endeavors. The difference I have discerned, however, between the two schools, as to the matter of demands imposed on kids by schools, is that, at least on CC, it appears to me that the yelps are louder, longer and more often from Exeter kids than from Hotchkiss kids or from the kids at any other BS, for that matter.

    Somehow Exeter students seem to display more pain at their school, while students from other schools seem to bite their lips, smile through the pain or enjoy more sweetness and support from the school or students there to balance out the harsh demands stemming from the school. Maybe I just haven't read enough CC threads to glean a fair sampling of the pangs of anguish from BS kids, but the shrilling calls for help or of dispair that keep swirling up, more often than not, seem to come from the Exeter corner. For better or worse, a parent tends to hear such cries and listens.
  • baystateresidentbaystateresident Registered User Posts: 601 Member
    Saer, I think you made the right choice. My children who are at Choate find it hard, stimulating, fascinating- they love being surrounded by other very smart and talented kids- but they are not completely overwhelmed. In fact, they actually have a lot of fun there too. One of them is a perfectionist and could have gone over the edge, but somehow doesn't. It's a really good school, and I think you will love it there.
  • istoleyournose!istoleyournose! Registered User Posts: 607 Member
    I'm kindof tired of defending exeter. The arguments against it are pretty unreasonable. I don't feel like arguing against them is going to lead to any progress.
  • catgcatg Registered User Posts: 516 Member
    I know several kids that loved exeter. I also know the school has been trying to "soften" it's reputation the last few years. I believe it will be as intense as you chooses to make it.
  • PA-CPA-C Registered User Posts: 960 Member
    istoleyournose: I can tell you that my friend's daughter is a lower at Exeter and has had the most fabulous two years so far! She loves it! Yes she is tired when she comes home for breaks but she would never think of leaving Exeter!
  • istoleyournose!istoleyournose! Registered User Posts: 607 Member
    Love to hear it. Thanks PA-C! =D
This discussion has been closed.