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Weird question about BS

CavsFan2003CavsFan2003 879 replies70 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 949 Member
I'm overweight. Fat kid. All that. I'm clean and I wear nice clothes but I'm overweight. Will I be bullied if I go to BS?

I know it's stupid but my dad's worried about it. He thinks I won't fit in because I'm chubby. When we visited, we didn't see any other chubby kids so he was like... absurdly self-conscious. Is this an absurd worry?
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Replies to: Weird question about BS

  • CaliMexCaliMex 1667 replies34 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,701 Senior Member
    Depends on the school. Look for a school with a deliberate culture of kindness and avoid ones that attract kids and families who are primarily concerned with status, prestige, and appearances.
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  • brantlybrantly 3689 replies66 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,755 Senior Member
    What grade are you in? Are you bullied in your current school?

    No way to predict. Some kids with traits that are typical targets of bullying have such great social skills that the trait is ignored. Some fit, great-looking, smart kids have terrible social skills and are bullied. There's no way to predict.

    In any case, does your extra weight have to be a permanent condition? Are you motivated to lose weight and get in shape—whether you go to BS or not?
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  • skieuropeskieurope 37348 replies6485 discussionsSuper Moderator Posts: 43,833 Super Moderator
    Will you find a group with whom you can connect? Yes. Will all the social interactions at any BS be full of rainbows and unicorns? No. Will you be physically pummeled? Doubtful. But the classmates are all teenagers, with the same insecurities as those in the LPS. BS does not magically make its students mature and self-aware
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  • CavsFan2003CavsFan2003 879 replies70 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 949 Member
    @brantly It is not- I've been losing weight, slowly but steadily. But it's kinda hard. I think I have good social skills and I'm not bullied at my current school but my dad's sort of a worrier and he's just worrying I'll be out of my realm.

    @skieurope Thank you for the comment, my dad's just worried because the environment will be different than one of a low income school in Indiana- although I personally don't think it won't be all that different.
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  • brantlybrantly 3689 replies66 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 3,755 Senior Member
    So this is more your dad's worry than yours? Way to go, dad! /sarcasm.

    Tell dad you'd like him to have more faith in you.
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  • CavsFan2003CavsFan2003 879 replies70 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 949 Member
    @brantly Trust me, I have. He's just the stereotypical overprotective dad. Lol
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  • skieuropeskieurope 37348 replies6485 discussionsSuper Moderator Posts: 43,833 Super Moderator
    edited October 2018
    I personally don't think it won't be all that different.
    It won't be all that different.

    I'll also suggest, if you have not already, that you view any of the thousands of "It Gets Better" videos, because, trust me, it does get better.
    https://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject/featured
    edited October 2018
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  • Happytimes2001Happytimes2001 1228 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,237 Senior Member
    Also, if you attend a school that requires athletics you might actually end up fitter than you were previously. I did not say skinnier intentionally since being fit is more important. It's too bad you Dad has it an issue. That said, I have seen kids of all frames at all the visits we went on. Many were fit but there were definitely kids who were not as well. What's important is being healthy inside and out.
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  • CaliMexCaliMex 1667 replies34 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,701 Senior Member
    @randoomccuser21 That is not true. Kids put on their best face when they apply to boarding schools. There have been several instances of hazing and bullying at some of the best-regarded boarding schools. That is just one of the reasons why some of us parents urge applicants to look beyond prestige and try to understand school cultures, approaches to discipline and advising, etc.
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  • CavsFan2003CavsFan2003 879 replies70 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 949 Member
    @CaliMex Agreed, when I toured Choate and Loomis and Hotchkiss they all seemed they'd be fine but you can never know. I've always heard schools like Deerfield are a little more... traditional? if that makes sense, so I knew I wouldn't be a great fit there.
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  • twinsmamatwinsmama 1586 replies53 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,639 Senior Member
    I remember my son remarking once that a much lower percentage of students were overweight at his boarding school than at the local high school. But the percentage wasn't zero, and teenage years being what they are, some kids gained or lost notable amounts of weight during high school. I'm sure they were not bullied because of it. As others have said, there is very little bullying at schools with a real culture of kindness. That doesn't mean no one is ever nasty (again, teenage years being what they are) but you should be fine if you are at a school with a healthy and supportive culture.
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  • CavsFan2003CavsFan2003 879 replies70 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 949 Member
    @twinsmama That sounds good. I figured I'd be one of the only ones cause, and I don't mean to be offensive in any way, but being overweight is more likely in lower class families like my own because of convenience and cheapness of foods while boarding schools generally have higher income and stuff, if that makes sense? Idk.
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  • twinsmamatwinsmama 1586 replies53 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,639 Senior Member
    You're right; socioeconomic and cultural factors are undoubtedly most of the cause for the difference. At one time, being overweight was a sign of wealth, in that it showed you could afford plenty of food. Nowadays, as you said, it's often the reverse, because cheaper foods these days are more likely to make people fat. Also, poorer kids in some circumstances are less likely to get enough physical activity. However, if you go to boarding school, you will have healthy, fresh food and a physical activity requirement (and don't worry, there are always some low-pressure options). Good luck!
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  • EmpireappleEmpireapple 1427 replies25 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,452 Senior Member
    You sound like a great kid! Be yourself. My guess is that if you are doing fine socially now, you will be just fine wherever you go.
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  • CavsFan2003CavsFan2003 879 replies70 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 949 Member
    Thank you everyone! I'm looking forward to boarding school just for that, honestly.
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