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Visit Question

MA2012MA2012 Registered User Posts: 904 Member
edited November 2012 in Prep School Parents
I tried to search for this in the archives, and couldn't find it in the previous posts.

Does it matter if one or both parents tour with a child? We are trying to figure out fall visits now.
Post edited by MA2012 on

Replies to: Visit Question

  • Alexz825MomAlexz825Mom Registered User Posts: 730 Member
    Dear Ma2012,

    It really depends on your family situation. When we did our visits, the majority of the kids were with both parents. I believe that is the typical situation.

    With that being said, I am a divorced parent, and my ex has no contact with my d since she was 2 years old. My mother traveled with us, about 8 schools in 4.5 days. The schools seem very clear that all families are not "traditional". If cost is an issue, or small children at home, parent working, etc. When you have the opportunity to speak with the interviewer you explain your situation.

    Going into the senior year with my d, the school seems more interested that the child has support from the family, not just throwing the kid at bs for the school to handle.

    In my d's case, she was accepted at 5 bs, waitlisted at 1 and not selected at one. It didnt hurt her chances.

    If both parents are 100% on-board, then I think the "calmest" one should go. If one is more hesitant, let them go....and get a chance to see how great an opportunity bs is :-).

    Good Luck!
  • dodgersmomdodgersmom Registered User Posts: 7,304 Senior Member
    Do whatever works for you. Parents have to work - the schools understand that. If even one of you is able to take time off to accompany the child to school visits, that shows your commitment to the boarding school decision. That's all that's needed.
  • GMTplus7GMTplus7 Registered User Posts: 14,567 Senior Member
    Regardless of whether one or both parents go, remember that ALL OF YOU will be observed during the tour, not just the student.
  • MA2012MA2012 Registered User Posts: 904 Member
    Thanks for the feedback. One of us will have to go on each visit, but we may try to both go (without younger sib) to some. If we can't both make them all then good to know that is okay too. I have been reading on these forums and saw other comments on how the entire family is observed on a tour. Good to keep in mind.
  • mountainhikermountainhiker Registered User Posts: 809 Member
    My husband and I took turns depending on our work schedules. I took DS on our week-long trip to visit east coast schools and my husband covered the trip to Canada and the west coast trip. Some admissions officers asked "where's the spouse," I'm assuming to try and determine if both parents were supporting the decision to apply to BS. It made no difference in our case, as DS was accepted at all 4 schools where he applied.
  • SevenDadSevenDad Registered User Posts: 3,922 Senior Member
    @Alex825Mom: By your "calmest" parent standard, I would have been left at home for all 8 of our visits!!! ;-P.

    In the end, my wife and I went to all schools, and our younger daughter came along for many of the trips.
  • Momof7thgraderMomof7thgrader Registered User Posts: 314 Member
    My husband and I traded off all the visits (except one) as we both work, have a dog etc. I would say it was about 50/50 observing other families whether they had one or both parents with them. For revisits - we all went together.
  • 2prepMom2prepMom Registered User Posts: 1,140 Senior Member
    Because of my husband's work schedule, I took my daughter to some interviews. It was fine.
  • redbluegoldgreenredbluegoldgreen Registered User Posts: 1,256 Senior Member
    For child #1, both parents attended every interview. For child #2, we divided and conquered. It didn't seem to make a bit of difference.
  • alooknacalooknac Registered User Posts: 1,033 Senior Member
    Just to clarify, at every school my daughter applied to, we were BOTH interviewed, separately. And it wasn't just a Do You Have Any Questions or Concerns sort of thing. Most times it was quite long and had questions that required thought, along the lines of job interview questions. I suggest doing a little prep/research/thinking beforehand.

    There were the expected questions as to what are your child's strengths and weaknesses. Sorry I can't think of any others at the moment. Some of the questions were difficult especially when part of you is simultaneously trying to analyze the effect your answers will have on the application.

    I am a single legal guardian and I used the interviews to explain, for better or worse, some gaps in my daughter's "resume." She applied to four, got into two including her first choice, with very good financial aid, so we are happy.
  • KittenygoodnessKittenygoodness Registered User Posts: 141 Junior Member
    All the schools we toured also interviewed my daughter separately from the parents, EXCEPT Deerfield interviewed all three of us at once, and St. George's only interviewed her and there was no parent interview. At Episcopal my husband couldn't make it but it didn't matter, they were completely understanding. I expect most schools just want to get an idea of the parents' feeling on boarding and get to know the family behind the applicant.
    But get ready for the "where else are you applying" question, no matter what. And wear comfortable shoes.
  • ChoatieMomChoatieMom Registered User Posts: 3,744 Senior Member
    DH and I weren't aware of being interviewed at any of the four schools DS applied to. Only after finding CC did I learn that that post student-interview chit-chat was more than just graciousness. None involved sitting down or anything resembling probing questions. I can't remember specifically a thing we talked about with any of the reps. If those gentle debriefings were parent "interviews", you could have fooled me. I can't imagine what kind of prep would be necessary.
  • dodgersmomdodgersmom Registered User Posts: 7,304 Senior Member
    Deerfield interviewed all three of us at once

    Just to be clear - Deerfield interviews the candidate separately . . . and then brings the parents to give them a chance to ask questions. The parents are not "interviewed."
  • alooknacalooknac Registered User Posts: 1,033 Senior Member
    Just to be clear about my experience, my D interviewed at four schools. At three of them, after D's interview, I was taken privately into an office to sit down with the Admission Rep for what felt like an interview. One interview went on for probably half an hour and the Admission Rep was obviously referring to written notes or questions as well as making notes as we went along. The other two Reps also seemed to refer to and make notes during our conversation/interview.

    The fourth school was a little different in that we had a very sociable Rep and since it was a gorgeous day, he did "walking interviews" for both my D and myself (separately). He was decidedly warmer and more casual than all the other interviewers. He still asked a lot of probing questions but I don't recall him taking notes or referring to notes. He shared more about himself than any of the other interviewers.

    Perhaps the "parent interview" varies with different schools, different students, etc. Certainly parents don't HAVE to prepare for their interview. But if you don't think fast on your feet, you might want to think ahead about your child's strengths, weaknesses, personality quirks and strengths, how you think they may react to dorm life, how do they respond to a teacher they don't like, etc. etc.

    For the record, D was accepted at two out of the four. Those two schools were the most comprehensive and the most cursory parent interview, for whatever it's worth (pretty small sample). I have no idea how the schools use the parent interview, I just want to give people a heads up. After our experience, I was surprised to find that some parents encountered only what they considered small talk.
  • HarvestMoon1HarvestMoon1 Registered User Posts: 6,099 Senior Member
    We visited 8 boarding schools and my husband could not accompany us on at least half of the visits, due to work related travel. We found that it made no difference whatsoever that one parent accompanied the applicant - my child had outstanding results from the 5 schools to which applications were submitted.
This discussion has been closed.