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Helicopter parents buying house near kid's boarding school

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Replies to: Helicopter parents buying house near kid's boarding school

  • vegas1vegas1 Registered User Posts: 331 Member
    @Parabane I have parented both ways. I can assure you my kids experience is nothing like a day student. Just because I live close by doesn't mean I infringe on my kids freedom. They are entirely responsible for their daily lives. I have 2 left at BS and I let them drive the amount of contact. Each had a very different pattern with us based on their schedule and preferences. For us this arrangement works.
  • itcannotbetrueitcannotbetrue Registered User Posts: 472 Member
    Sikorsky level update: We now have three West Coast families at the school with one parent living across the street from our NE school.
    Hoping not to be the 4th. . . . ;)
  • itcannotbetrueitcannotbetrue Registered User Posts: 472 Member
    @mexusa --Wow, I stand corrected on my humble number of three!

    In all honestly, I've often had the desire to do the same. . . In the Fall and late Spring :)
  • carpoolingmacarpoolingma Registered User Posts: 403 Member
    @itcannotbetrue - I had to look up Sikorsky. LOL
    We happen to live a mile from DS's school - though we have lived here for 13 years! He is a day student who is campaigning to board! We will revisit that for 11th grade.
    In the meantime, I am grateful to the boarders who are modeling independence! At first, we had to purposefully make ourselves less available to come at ds's beck and call. Now he uses his bike for all of his pre-10pm/non-icey/pouring transportation to and from school. And, at his request, he is flying solo to his grandpa's house in March! Woohoo! So, while the true far-away-from-home experiences will have to wait, I feel like the Sikorsky is garaged (hangered?)


  • carpoolingmacarpoolingma Registered User Posts: 403 Member
    (Just wanted to clarify the above...less available to bring forgotten stuff during the day. We were more than happy to drive him to and from school. However, DS wanted to come and go as he pleased rather than wait for us to be home from work, carpooling other kid, etc so he chooses to bike.)
  • copperboomcopperboom Registered User Posts: 190 Junior Member
    Our D has a dormmate whose parents are at school 3 or 4x a week. Her BS is 100% boarding. They sit in the common area, do her laundry, bring her dinner. Is this common?
  • doschicosdoschicos Registered User Posts: 15,123 Senior Member
    ^Not to that extreme. I did live not far from my kids and many weeks saw them once or twice. During sports seasons, usually twice on game days but if it was an away game it wouldn't be on campus. I would drop off a home cooked meal or freshly baked goods maybe once or twice a month. 3-4x a week seems like a lot to me.
  • copperboomcopperboom Registered User Posts: 190 Junior Member
    I can't imagine my kid would want me there 3-4x a week. And we're close! It's hard on the kids whose family's live far away. On that note- we're missing my kids Nutcracker performance for the first time since she was 3 years old! We've done the crazy professional thing- but it's still weird... Sad
  • itcannotbetrueitcannotbetrue Registered User Posts: 472 Member
    @ copperboom -- no, not at least at my kid's school. In fact, said parents might be gently coaxed to allow their DC to "Foster more independence" (or some equally eloquent euphemism for LEAVE HER ALONE).
  • ThacherParentThacherParent Registered User Posts: 811 Member
    3-4x per week...? That's just embarrassing, @copperboom and definitely abnormal, at least in my book.
  • copperboomcopperboom Registered User Posts: 190 Junior Member
    vegas1, guess if we weren't 1200 miles I woud be there more often. We're getting to be Amazons best customers- cold medicine- click. Secret santa gifts- click. Food- click. But I'm fairly sure I wouldn't hang out in her common room. You're son sounds like a gem! What is it about the car? Our best conversations are always in the car. Sometimes we will pull into the garage and stay in the car to talk! I would give anything to have those conversations during the year. Spending as much time as possible together now while she's home on break!
  • AppleNotFarAppleNotFar Registered User Posts: 875 Member
    No judgement here @vegas1. Getting the "boarding experience" was not our kid's primary reason for going to boarding school, but we embraced it because of the kid's desire for a strong academic environment with lots of EC opportunities. DH and I have managed to fly in on weekends for most of kiddo's athletic contests and we justify the time and expense as our new "date nights". I am incredibly envious of the day student parents and folks who live within a 2-3 hours drive. Being around for more of those impromptu drives would be such a blessing. Alas circumstances make the big move impossible for us.
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