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Helicopter parents buying house near kid's boarding school

GMTplus7GMTplus7 Registered User Posts: 14,567 Senior Member
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/09/18/garden/leaving-home-but-not-the-folks.html
Now divorced from her second husband, she has moved from their home in Cranston to an apartment in Newport because her daughter, Ally, is a freshman at the Portsmouth Abbey School nearby. Ms. Garcia Ponte was determined, she said, to stay connected to Ally in a way her mother wasn’t able to do with her.“When my daughter brought up boarding school, that was something that was so foreign to me,” she said. ..It’s a fabulous opportunity for her, but I’m not ready to give up parenting.”

I cringe for this kid
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Replies to: Helicopter parents buying house near kid's boarding school

  • Pennylane2011Pennylane2011 Registered User Posts: 2,716 Senior Member
    It's odd to think of having a kid go off to school and parents just moving with them. On the other hand, if they can afford having their own place instead of staying in a hotel, I can see the appeal. If many parents are doing this, it might be an investment to sell or rent when the student graduates.

    As to helicoptering... just no..
  • PeriwinklePeriwinkle Registered User Posts: 3,505 Senior Member
    As my children have been local boarders, I don't think I can criticize. I understand the impulse, although we don't face that choice.

    I was intrigued to see how many former boarders criticized the decision in the comments.
  • ChoatieMomChoatieMom Registered User Posts: 4,603 Senior Member
    edited September 2014
    It's not uncommon, though, for parents to buy homes close to schools so their kids can be day students. Many foreign families do this not just to be close to their kids but to put their applications into the somewhat less competitive day-student pool.

    Is the student in the article boarding or living in the apartment with mom? If she's boarding and mom is in the apartment just to be "close," that's just nuts. It negates a major benefit of boarding. Double cringe.

  • towerchutetowerchute Registered User Posts: 73 Junior Member
    Slightly bizarre, of course the Real Estate brokers like it. IMO puts the Head Master and faculty on the spot, they can’t exactly say go away and instead provide the best spin they can in a favorable light.

    I know there was a thread in the past questioning whether or not parents of applicants are vetted as well. I say they are but like some students, a few get through. I’ll admit I’m old school but boarding school is boarding school and parents aren’t to move in next door. We are / have created a generation of weenies.
  • Momto4kidsMomto4kids Registered User Posts: 290 Junior Member
    My son is a "local boarder" as well. This was definitely by design. We didn't consider schools that were more than an hour away from our home. I just wasn't ready to go there. I also realize that this really wasn't because we thought that he couldn't tolerate it, but that I didn't think it was right for our family. His younger siblings really struggle with not having him around and being able to visit with him and see his games is a definite plus. I really don't think that makes me a "helicopter parent". If that were me, then my son wouldn't be boarding at all.
    I get very frustrated by the perception that the general public has of boarding school kids and parents!
  • momonymousmomonymous Registered User Posts: 138 Junior Member
    For those of us who are looking at day schools because "I'm not ready to give up parenting", does that make us even bigger "helicopter parents"? Why such judgementalism?

    And, btw, Newport is not all that close to Portsmouth, and Cranston (where the Mom moved from) is not all that far either.
  • PeriwinklePeriwinkle Registered User Posts: 3,505 Senior Member
    To put it into context, people able to pay tuition and consider buying or renting a home near a school often have holiday or weekend houses as well. Many of the schools are set in lovely, bucolic towns. And I think it's easy to underestimate how quiet the house gets when the children are away.

    I have sympathy for the Newport mom. If the child's her entire family, it gets very lonely.
  • PhotographerMomPhotographerMom Registered User Posts: 1,822 Senior Member
    Newport is roughly 10 miles from Portsmouth (last time I checked). It's been awhile, so maybe I'm wrong. But if I'm right, she could probably contact her daughter by using two beer cans and some string.....
  • momonymousmomonymous Registered User Posts: 138 Junior Member
    Cranston to Portsmouth is about a 35-40 min drive.
    Newport to Portsmouth is about a 20-25 min drive (more traffic-y).
    Either one is commutable, but I guess my point is that you're not so close as to be driving by the school on a daily basis (or even weekly) in either location.
  • towerchutetowerchute Registered User Posts: 73 Junior Member
    LOL, no one ever gives up parenting.
    Long weekends coupled with holidays you'll find your kids coming and going all year long. They'll define school as their second home and it's all good. West coast to East coast and vice versa obviously not so easy but most can handle it.
  • london203london203 Registered User Posts: 1,372 Senior Member
    edited September 2014
    I will say that if I moved that close, it would follow that my kid would be a day student. Just think of the savings! :)

    I also have to say that I would never allow my "story" to be told in the paper... imagine the teasing your kid might receive....it's hard enough being a freshman. I suppose there are many reasons that a family might move -- although I second PhotographerMom: I could move to Newport -- but for ME!
This discussion has been closed.