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Prep school disciplinary policy re alerting colleges

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Replies to: Prep school disciplinary policy re alerting colleges

  • MA2012MA2012 Registered User Posts: 887 Member
    edited April 20
    S's freshman year another freshman got alcohol (story was it was brought by an older student to campus who reportedly was selling it to seniors) and got drunk. Freshman was brought to student health under the sanctuary program and was protected from disciplinary action by the school. Older student was expelled. Not sure what else happened. This was a big teachable moment and discussed at school and in a letter to the parents.
  • Korab1Korab1 Registered User Posts: 338 Member
    @momof3swimmers what is the Ebook? Every school will have a different set of rules. Read, them know them, prepare your kids for them. That is interesting that your school permits drug tests - for suspicion of what, though? present intoxication or use off campus 3 weeks ago?

    As in comedy, timing is everything.
  • GMC2918GMC2918 Registered User Posts: 725 Member
    This is what turned me off a little bit to schools with lots of repeats and PGs - older kids in an environment that's maybe too "young" for them.
  • AppleNotFarAppleNotFar Registered User Posts: 853 Member
    @Korab1 I believe that the Ebook is Exeter's rules and policies handbook; Andover's is called the Blue Book.

    Here's what the Blue Book says about drug/alcohol testing:

    Initial Determination. If a faculty member determines that a student’s behavior, presentation, or circumstance is indicative of recent alcohol consumption or drug use or both, that faculty member will discuss the concern with the student in order to ascertain the truth of the situation and also will notify the appropriate cluster dean or the dean of students.

    If the student denies the use of alcohol or drugs contrary to the initial determination of the involved adult, the dean of students (or a designee) will require an alcohol or drug test or both. Alternatively, a student denying alcohol or drug use may request an alcohol or drug test.
  • panpacificpanpacific Registered User Posts: 1,300 Senior Member
    Years ago, a Harvard bound senior from a top school, captain of football team and school president etc, was found guilty of plagiarism. Harvard was notified and the offer of admission was rescinded. The boy committed suicide days before graduation. I don't know if the school has changed the college reporting rules in some ways since, but college reporting rules can have severe repercussions. For OP, not sure it's a comfort, but If it has to happen, it's better before college acceptances come in than after, IMO. Somewhat easier to swallow without seeing the alternative results.
  • psparentpsparent Registered User Posts: 49 Junior Member
    Yes, it is Loomis (not trying to hide that, I just don't want this to be a rag on Loomis). 2 chance schools means that they are not expelled until the 2nd strike. It doesn't mean there are no consequences for the first one. So for the first infraction there is a suspension (and in this case loss of RA position); if it happened again he would be expelled.

    Loomis breaks infractions into 3 categories, level 1, 2, and 3. Level 1 are pretty minor, includes tobacco use. Drug or alcohol use, sex, cheating, etc. are all level 2s. You are suspended for the first level 2, expelled for the 2nd. Level 3 is something that leads to immediate expulsion - drug dealing, assault, etc. Pretty rare, though apparently a star athlete's Level 3 was overturned by the Head last year ...

    Any Level 2 for drug / alcohol use means regular random drug tests for the rest of the year, and mandatory counselling.

    As I said, my son was absolutely guilty of breaking a school rule and their punishment was by the books. I hate that he did it. In some ways it was a good time to have it happen, he wasn't 18, he wasn't jailed, it isn't on any record books, and in September he starts over.
  • AppleNotFarAppleNotFar Registered User Posts: 853 Member
    edited April 20
    @panpacific That's such a sad story. The kid must have felt tremendous pressure. DH and I try hard to strike the right balance between "you better not mess up really badly" and "we love you no matter what". Hard to know if we've got it right. So far so good, but so many things can happen.
  • Korab1Korab1 Registered User Posts: 338 Member
    @AppleNotFar the Andover rule makes sense. If they suspect impairment at the time I can see a requirement to test. If you are on probation I can see a requirement to submit to a test at any time. For the OP, though, it seems the school went beyond their rules in requiring a test, which strong armed the confession. Admirable of the young man to come clean, but with so much at stake I would want my kids to say nothing until they have some adult intervention. Trusting that the schools have your kid's best interest in mind is idealistic. Some might call it naieve. The only person I know who has my kid's best interest in mind above all else is me. That doesn't mean you attempt to avoid responsibility for your actions at any costs. But it does mean you do everything in your power to make sure the punishment fits the crime and that everyone plays by the rules.
  • panpacificpanpacific Registered User Posts: 1,300 Senior Member
    @AppleNotFar I remember reading that the boy was getting all the support he could from family and friends given the situation. And he managed to convince everyone that he'd got over it and moved on. Then one day before graduation he jumped off from a school building. The ordeal was too much for the teen eventually.
  • doschicosdoschicos Registered User Posts: 14,670 Senior Member
    @Korab1 Andover's use of the word "recent" gives them a lot of flexibility does it not? In the situation of the OP's son, usage yesterday could be considered "recent".
  • pacepeapacepea Registered User Posts: 71 Junior Member
    @psparent "I can't be sure that the suspension and the loss of RA status led to being rejected from some colleges, but if it did, it was due to an action that would never lead to discipline at a non-boarding school." You realize that at a non-boarding school, students don't get the opportunity to be RAs in the first place.

    Also, your kid had a responsibility that most others don't get, a responsibility for the well-being and leadership of others, and he broke the guidelines set forth for this position by the school. In college, being an RA is considered a job. You can lose your job or face disciplinary action for doing something on your own time off company property. Remember the senior neurology resident in Miami who was not very nice to her Uber driver?
  • roethlisburgerroethlisburger Registered User Posts: 1,722 Senior Member
    doschicos wrote:
    I've always said that BS starts off giving a kid more freedom than he/she would have at home at 14 but by the time they graduate it is usually much more restrictive than life at home and at public school. As far as public schools and partying, in my area, every year or two there is a big party busted by town police and kids get charged for underaged drinking.

    This is the key takeaway. While your neighbors might call the cops, most neighbors won't do that unless the noise level is way too loud. At least where I'm at, noise complaints and parties are about dead last on cop's priorities. A party might have died down on its own by the time the police finally arrive.
  • Korab1Korab1 Registered User Posts: 338 Member
    @doschicos since the handbook states that the student's behavior, presentation, or circumstance must lead to the the suspicion of recent use, one could certainly argue that it is a belief in present intoxication. But vagueness always sucks in these circumstances
  • doschicosdoschicos Registered User Posts: 14,670 Senior Member
    Especially when the "circumstance" could be another student naming you as having imbibed as recently as the prior day. And the benefit of vagueness seems to usually tilt in the direction of those who hold the upper hand.
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