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Staying in touch with schools that have dropped off your short list?

SevenDadSevenDad Registered User Posts: 4,274 Senior Member
edited August 2010 in Prep School Parents
After visiting several schools with our older daughter over the summer, there were definitely a few schools that seemed like a better fit for her.

I was wondering if parents who have been in our situation before had kept in touch with schools that did not make your short list. Like sending an RSVP, regrets only.

At this pre-application stage of the game, is there any compelling reason to other than courtesy or that you might consider the school for a younger sibling?

In someways, I feel that they get such a flurry of correspondence that it might be better just to recede into the shadows unless you felt it was definitely going to be on the short list for an upcoming child...in which case, is it acceptable to state that?

Is it necessary?

As you can see by my activity over the past few weeks, I've got boarding school on the brain...and I'm seeking to reduce the number of questions in my head before we get into THIS school year.
Post edited by SevenDad on

Replies to: Staying in touch with schools that have dropped off your short list?

  • neatoburritoneatoburrito Registered User Posts: 3,449 Senior Member
    There were two schools that my son looked at that he didn't apply to. He "receded into the shadows" as you so eloquently put it. But, he also didn't get any communication from them, other than the standard Christmas cards, etc. If he had received something not mass mailed, he would have responded. (I think it was obvious at both schools that he was wrong so they were probably expecting it.)

    Do expect, post March 10th, to get some kind of email request to fill out a survey about why you didn't apply.
  • rebelangelrebelangel Registered User Posts: 170 Junior Member
    I've always liked the idea of dropping a short note to the admission's officer saying that it probably wasn't the best fit for THAT child, but you and your spouse loved the school and think it would be a great fit for child #2 and that in addition to your thanks, you look forward to staying in touch. That might be a help to you later and a nice gesture anyway. If no child #2, recede into those shadows!
  • SevenDadSevenDad Registered User Posts: 4,274 Senior Member
    Thanks to you both! It's so funny how some schools are just the right fit for one child and so not for another.
  • Mainer95Mainer95 Registered User Posts: 361 Member
    My $0.02 - always err on the side of courtesy and notes of appreciation, no matter how much or how little self-interest seems to be associated with it. It will be a good life lesson for your kids too.
  • neatoburritoneatoburrito Registered User Posts: 3,449 Senior Member
    Oh, he wrote thank you notes after his interviews and all that (that's just common courtesy!), but he never said directly, "I've decided not to apply" simply because there was no further contact from those two schools. Sorry if I was unclear.
  • Alexz825MomAlexz825Mom Registered User Posts: 730 Member
    Sending notes is a forgotten, and sometimes not taught, skill. I insisted that my d e-mail, within 12 hours of an interview, her interviewer and the student guide. Then within a week of coming home a personal handwritten note again to both of them, about the giving of their time to us.

    Does it make a difference to the school, I dont know and am not sure I care. What is important to me is that my d learn the importance of being grateful and appreciative.

    In preparation for revisit day, I prepared 3 thank-you "bags"; one for the interviewer who was just wonderful, honest and open, two-the janitor who took the time, while working, to explain the history of the school though the pictures in the waiting room, and third the woman that cleans the girls sports uniforms, who was so kind and open with me about the kids that attended the school.

    I hope I show, by example, that people need to be thanked and acknowledged for their niceness, even when it is their job. (Most of us have no problem complaining when things go poorly)

    BTW--the little bags contained, a hand-written thank you note from me, a little box of chocolates and a postcard from our city.
  • ParlabaneParlabane Registered User Posts: 596 Member
    Alex, great example to set: giving thanks because they're due, not for personal recognition or to get ahead. Every parent should teach that same lesson to their kids.
  • SevenDadSevenDad Registered User Posts: 4,274 Senior Member
    Thanks all. As a point of clarification, this was not regarding initial post-interview handwritten thank you notes (which of course are de rigeur)...it was more about continued correspondence going forward.

    FWIW, I suggested only hand-written correspondence for my daughter...going old school. The 24-hour email is a nice touch, though...to capture some of the initial enthusiasm and "what we discussed" while it is still fresh.
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