Welcome to College Confidential!

The leading college-bound community on the web

Sign Up For Free

Join for FREE, and start talking with other members, weighing in on community discussions, and more.

Also, by registering and logging in you'll see fewer ads and pesky welcome messages (like this one!)

As a CC member, you can:

  • Reply to threads, and start your own.
  • Post reviews of your campus visits.
  • Find hundreds of pages of informative articles.
  • Search from over 3 million scholarships.
Please take a moment to read our updated TOS, Privacy Policy, and Forum Rules.

psparent Junior Member

87 Points 10 Visits 49 Posts
Last Active:
Registered User
  • Re: Prep school disciplinary policy re alerting colleges

    All lies are not the same. 95 % of teenagers - probably 99.5 % of teenagers - lie about something at some time. Making all lying a serious offence basically gives the school unlimited power to discipline a kid for the most trivial reason. It also can force kids to tell on other kids or face expulsion. Thus, judgment is required. To be clear, I don't know that my son was with other people, he insists he wasn't. Personally if he's lying about that I'm okay with it.
  • Re: Prep school disciplinary policy re alerting colleges

    I'm pretty sure that if he said he was with others but refused to name them he would be going to our local public school right now. Or, they would drug test all of his friends on "reasonable suspicion." Reiterating - I don't know that he wasn't alone, I suspect it. I'm not asking. May press the matter once the diploma is in hand.
  • Re: Prep school disciplinary policy re alerting colleges

    Yeah, I really don't know the answer. I go back to the great reply by Calimex earlier: "As luck would have it, on our flight back from visiting schools I was seated next to a man who had graduated from a HADES school. He did NOT send this kids to BS precisely because of the strict disciplinary policies in which the stakes are so high for kids being caught pushing boundaries, which is what the adolescent brain is programmed to do.

    He said it could really distort kids' development. That by senior year, kids at BS become extraordinarily good at managing two very distinct selves, one for adult consumption and one for peers. He said it made them absolute masters at keeping secrets and hiding things. (But that it didn't keep them for partying hard). He claimed it made them less likely to go to adults for help, too because it turned adults into the police. The stricter the policies, the more underground the kids' go with their behavior."

    I hope that deans take a hard look at their policies and I think they should distinguish between relatively normal teen behavior (say, sex or heavy petting by seniors and some pot smoking/alcohol away from school) which they ALL KNOW is happening and seriously dangerous, destructive, or harmful behavior that is out of the norm (driving while drunk, assault, statutory rape). I think lumping them together as they have may actually have the consequence of making the seriously bad behavior seem normal.

    I don't know the answers.
  • Re: Prep school disciplinary policy re alerting colleges

    Yes, it is expected. I promise you that the majority of SPS students violate this rule (have tried alcohol or pot) by the time they are seniors. The expectations simply don't mesh with reality - and that creates a dynamic where there is the real world and the pretend world.
  • Re: Disciplinary Policies: "One-Strike Schools"

    I remember reading that Salisbury is a 1 strike and they went that route because they were having serious issues with drugs/alcohol. That was a while ago, though ... I think a major problem with one-strike is that it may encourage the school or teachers/deans to ignore an infraction because the consequences are so huge.