Hi, I have a really big problem. I am able to consistently score 42-46 on the grammar portion of the SAT but I keep getting 8 or 9 on the Essay! PLEASE HELP! I am a good writer in AP Lang, but I do so poorly on SAT essays.
Here's the most recent essay I took this Saturday, Blue Book #2 Test #3.
Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?
Over the past couple centuries, our society has developed and expanded in ways we could never imagine due to knowledge. Advancements in technology and medicine have dominated our lives today. Steve Jobs, who invented the iPod, and Henry Gray, who discovered new surgery methods, have made our society significantly better through the years. Therefore, knowledge cannot be a burden, rather than a benefit, because it helps our society progress and develop.
Firstly, technological advancements over the past century have dominated our lives. If we didn't have knowledge, people such as the Wright Brothers, who invented the airplane, wouldn't have given us the power of flying across seas! Also, an average American watches television for four hours a day. Would we really be able to enjoy our lives without luxuries such as watching television? Having no knowledge, or saying knowledge is a burden, is like saying we would rather live like cavemen in the early ages. Knowledge has brought to us loads of technology such as cars, airplanes, television, iPods, computers, and many other developments that we take for granted in our everyday lives.
Secondly, the developments in medicine have been crucial to our lives. Knowledge has created a cure for millions of diseases and viruses, which could be the only reason we are still alive today. For example, if there was no medicine, what would someone with a broken leg do? Would they suffer endless pain? Medicine helps us live not only happier lives, but also longer lives. Life expectancy has gone from 59 in 1900 to 73 in 2010. This is a substantial improvement, leading to nearly a 25% improvement in average life expectancy! Most people today would not be able to survive without the advancements in medicine.
In the end, with knowledge comes development and with development comes happiness. Knowledge has brought to us loads of innovations such as cars, airplanes, and computers, and also developments in pharmacy, which help people live everyday. Therefore, the knowledge we have has expanded and progressed our society in ways we could never imagine and so it is not a burden.
I received a 3 and a 4, totaling a 7/12. This was my worst essay score I've ever gotten before, so I am posting this one.
PLEASE HELP! Criticism makes me stronger, please tear my essay apart!