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What do you think this essay will get on the writing section of the sat?

MuscularPanda69MuscularPanda69 Registered User Posts: 11 New Member
It's important to have a dream about the future. Dreams help people realize that they are not just some regular person. Dreams make people believe they are "stronger" then they look. Also dream help people to set a goal people will try to reach. And that's how our human race is advanced. When I was young, I had about a million dreams of what I am going to be when I grow up. Some of the dreams were to become a cop, an engineer, a personal driver because they get paid the most and they can drive around the globe to explore great things. But as I grow a little older I realize that some of the dreams were foolish. But dreams keep me pushing myself toward that direction. Now I am a senior and I am trying to figure out when I am going to be when I grow up, often times I refer back to my child dream and try to become what I dreamed for and make a great contribution to this world. If your dreams die you will be nothing, no future to dream about. You will be the lonely man walking down the street with a stick and a bag asking people to spare you some change. Because they don't see them doing anything else useful. They had let their dreams die and never chase after it. That's why they are useless to the society. The reason we are an advanced civilization is that we know how to dream. And we have the guts to do what we believe is right. Great scientists usually come up with discoveries in their dream and write it down on a sheet of paper. They didn't just come up with the quadratic equation while they are picking garbage or playing a video game. They got it when they are sleeping; dreaming about what they are trying to figure out and sometimes you can't imagine what dreams hit you with. Hold fast to your dreams before they are gone. Because when dreams are gone we are "dead" we don't have anything to hope for. No goals for our future and we wouldn't be as advanced as we are today.
Post edited by MuscularPanda69 on

Replies to: What do you think this essay will get on the writing section of the sat?

  • .illogic.illogic Registered User Posts: 246 Junior Member
    It would help if you posted the prompt.

    I'd give it a 4/12. Sorry.
    It's just that you lack organization and don't use many concrete examples or references. Also, you lack focus and your sentence structure/syntax is weak.

    You have to realize that SAT graders have something specific in mind when they're reading these. It's more about fitting the mold than being original/creative.
  • amb3ramb3r Registered User Posts: 1,504 Senior Member
    That wasn't an essay, that was a long paragraph. You can't just ramble about some topic until you're satisfied and call it an SAT essay.
  • lowfatsourcremelowfatsourcreme Registered User Posts: 153 Junior Member
    ^ what they said

    And repeating the word "dreams" in every sentence is very irritating.
  • protegeprotege Registered User Posts: 933 Member
    6/12 ... ..
  • bessiebessie Registered User Posts: 1,818 Senior Member
    First, start with a stronger thesis. Add one to two sentences re: thesis. Then, in your second paragraph, have three examples (one from literature you have read, one from history/hstorical figure, one from personal life or current culture) to illustrate the point you made in your thesis statement. Finally, in your third paragragh, write a conclusion.
  • laptop19laptop19 Registered User Posts: 233 Junior Member
    dude, i dont like when ppl hammer other ppl, but come on!!!
This discussion has been closed.