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Please comment on my essay

aubdemaubdem Registered User Posts: 21 New Member
edited August 2013 in SAT Preparation
Is knowledge of the past no longer useful for us today? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

In the past, knowledge has been considered as a significant factor in changing the society because its spread was relatively slower than that of modern days. The knowledge of the past, however, is still useful for us today because morals and practical techniques are still appropriate to our daily lives.

Morals and lessons about people’s way of behaviors are still highly regarded today. What people nowadays recognize is the importance of these morals to their offspring. In the past, many thinkers strived to create a concrete means of teaching people how to behave well. Such past knowledge is still valuable in modern society because morality is the base of all human thoughts and behaviors. As Confucius once said, people are likely to learn morals from others, rather than having conscience inherently. What one of the greatest philosophers and teachers in the past is trying to explain is that morality is something that people should be keen to encourage learning morals. Some countries in the past have had no thorough constitutional laws in order to make morality stable among people. In the world where we live nowadays, people still need t o use and have a sense of what is right and wrong. Even though modern society has much advanced ways of regulating people’s behaviors like the police or the court, morals in the past are still useful to us because they serve as fundamental base for everyone.

Additionally, practical knowledge in the ancient times is still considered as having a high value nowadays. In the past, practical works included everything from farming, mining, mechanical works to politics. The mechanical aspect of knowledge, in particular, is still very useful for modern days. The foundation of modern physics can be attributed to numerous experiments and conclusions the past scientists have made. The steam engine in the 19th century, for instance, started a wide movement for industrialization and mechanization. Some critics argue that the advancement of engines have not affected modern day mechanics, but their arguments are too quick to realize the secondary importance – mechanization. Nowadays, people do not use steam engine at all, but do use systematic and constructive methods in working. Such examples include conveyor belts and/or the function of computers. Hence, real-life situations nowadays have lots in common of the past practical knowledge.

In conclusion, people should not oversee the significance of knowledge of the past because it still impacts modern practical work and people’s sense of morality. Words from great philosophers and theories or invention of past mechanics clearly show that knowledge of the past is something to learn from.
Post edited by aubdem on

Replies to: Please comment on my essay

  • mrodriguezmrodriguez Registered User Posts: 58 Junior Member
    I see many grammatical mistakes. I'm sorry, but I do not have enough patience to explain them to you.

    And PLEASE do not start your conclusion paragraph with ''In conclusion''
  • DanielSuissa92DanielSuissa92 Registered User Posts: 23 New Member
    I'm no expert and I myself am seeking help with improving my essay, but there are a few things that I can comment on.
    your first paragraph is hypothetical.you should used more substantial examples to make your point. you started well on the second paragraph when you opened with examples of kinds of knowledge of the past, but you didn't keep a straight logic line after mentioning them.
    the transitions "additionaly" and "in conclusion" are weak, you should use transitions that will serve as road signs for the reader without telling him what you're doing.

    hope it helps unil someone more proffessional will respond
  • SAT97TAKERSAT97TAKER Registered User Posts: 108 Junior Member
    I will give you my personal advice but remember I am not an expert or a professional. First of all your examples are not enough especially in the third paragraph. You also have one or two grammatical mistakes. Transition words such as "additionally" and "in conclusion" are weak. You should use smooth transitions that will not over smart the reader.
  • SAT97TAKERSAT97TAKER Registered User Posts: 108 Junior Member
    i would give you a 10 or 11. Remember it is my opinion.
This discussion has been closed.