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essay, another one

glucose101glucose101 4585 replies679 threads Senior Member
edited March 2006 in SAT Preparation
"Do you have to be competitive to be successful"

In a world based on social pressures and the definition of success, people these days have o have a fierce attitude to make our long-lasting goals in life to be fulfilled. As humans, we have to be competitive; we have to be based on survival of the fittest. Based on examples from Smut, McGuire, and personal experiences, the validity in this statement is true.

Agreeing with competition, a book entitled Smut explores the nature of the crudeness in the television that affects our vulernable lives. The author goes into his second chapter to explain in grand detail the cause for the smut that is being exposed: competition in opposing industries. The only manner in which one company stays in business is if one lowers their prices, lowers their quality, or lowers their values. They have to, unless they don't mind being bought out by the other.

Similarily, the competitive level in sports can be seen. A prime example is Mark McGuire, who at one time had the most number of homeruns in a single professional baseball season. It turn out, leaked by the media, that McGuire was supposedly taking non-prescribed steroids. The level today at which athletes must perform is strenuous and arduous. Again though, if you don't bring out the equal field on your opponents, one, two, three, you're out of there.

Lastly, I must concur with the notion that the world is becoming more critical and competitive place to live. I recently went to State Science Fair, and found this to be true. Everyone owants to win; everyone has to win. When my board fell because of bad construction, no one offered me the hospitality that I'm accustomed to at my caring school. I finished propping my board back up, but I realized that everyone is out to one up the next.

All in all, one has to realize that alerting competition is a natural instinct. The problem with this self-brought instinct is one thing: only one person wins. Bottom line is one has to cautious to succeed in life.
edited March 2006
3 replies
Post edited by glucose101 on
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Replies to: essay, another one

  • lissuin losselissuin losse 7 replies3 threads New Member
    i would give this a 4. there is a certain lack of cohesiveness and some problems with certain colloquialisms and euphenisms and the examples could have been better, but for 25 minutes, I'll give you some leeway. not bad, overall, but maybe some preplanning would help?
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  • ArtiArti 579 replies38 threads Member
    A 4/12? I'd say this gets at least a 7 or 8. Then again, I'm not very experienced in grading essays.
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  • AceMaster33AceMaster33 80 replies0 threads Junior Member
    most likely between 7 and 9, essay graders don't see the very specific errors with things such as euphemisms adn colloquialisms, but rather grade it more wholistically. They are, after all, only spending about 60 seconds reading each essay.
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