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Any advice for someone who is absolutely miserable??

whatamidoing1234whatamidoing1234 Registered User Posts: 1 New Member
So I just started my semester abroad in Spain a couple days ago and I have been absolutely miserable the entire time. I know that I do need to give it more time and that the first couple days can be really rough, but I just don't see it getting any better. I'm so homesick and upset that I'm crying everything single time I'm alone in my room. I knew it was going to be tough and that I would have these low points sometimes, but I didn't think it would be all the time. Nothing that we're doing is making me happy and I just want to go home. I do sometimes suffer from anxiety and depression (mild) but I never thought it would be this bad. I was never homesick or depressed even during my first few days of freshmen year. Some of the advice I read is to make friends, but it seems like everyone in my group already knows each other and formed little cliques and I feel so lonely and left out. I don't want to leave early but I also don't want to be crying in my room everyday for the next four months. Does anyone have any advice to help me get through the rest of my semester enjoyably??

Replies to: Any advice for someone who is absolutely miserable??

  • aunt beaaunt bea Registered User Posts: 9,022 Senior Member
    My daughter went to Madrid and experience the same feelings.
    It got so bad that I had to go to her for 10 days.
    But, she finally became an adult there. She vastly improved her Spanish. She learned their trains and transportation. She went to the museums and art galleries and explored on her own.
    Please give it a chance. Get out of your room. Go to El Corte Ingles and check out that huge, what we called Macy's Spain. They may still be having their sale. Exploring the downstairs floor with the pharmacy and grocery store items were a hoot. We spent hours in that store! Go to the leather shoe stores whose items are all hand-made.
    Get out and explore.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 33,038 Senior Member
    I have a kid who had a tough study abroad. She was living in a studio apartment and it was tough to meet people. She was determined to make the best of it, though. She thoroughly explored the area she was in, took up cooking as a hobby, and worked hard to do well in her classes. She was able to travel to another country to visit some college friends also abroad on a break, and entertained a couple friends from home for a couple of days during the semester. She made it, and was pretty proud of herself. She learned a lot about herself and matured a lot just in the one semester, too. Stuck with it.

    You can go four months without close friends if you have to. Someday you will move to a new city or start a new job where you don't know a soul (and it seems like everyone else already knows each other). But a few weeks in you usually start to get to know people. Keep being friendly and open to the experiences. I think people have an idealized idea of what study abroad will be like. The key is to be adaptable.
  • LindagafLindagaf Registered User Posts: 7,784 Senior Member
    edited August 2017
    @gardenstategal gave great advice. I studied abroad. Yes, it was a bit scary at first, but you need to be out of your room as much as possible. Go on any organized trips. Sit next to people at lunch or whenever. Make small talk. No one will notice if you think it feels artificial. Raise your hand during class. Force yourself to do these things, even if it feels uncomfortable to you. You have no comfort zone in Spain, so you have to carry on until you feel a little more assimilated to your new environment. It's not really different than last year, except you are in a new place. All those little cliques are temporary and I guarantee you that other kids on the program are feeling the same.

    Make a list and force yourself to do some of the things on the list every day. That could be to say hello to new people, or to visit a museum. Do not allow yourself to wallow in misery. Get out of your room, really. You will get through this because you have to. Once you start being proactive, you will realize that it's fun. Spain is a great country. Don't miss out on this incredible opportunity.
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