advice for parent of ASD/High functioning aspergers child

shawbridge
Fri, 07 Dec 2018 04:17:57 +0000

@nativeNYer, in general, I believe that you are better off determining which schools are best for your son, not disclosing until he is admitted, and then disclosing negotiating with the schools at at that point. The admissions people are very different than the DSO. The DSO people may (or may not) be quite supportive and know how to make things work. But, the admissions folks may well ding your kid if they see a potential problem.

I did not disclose anything with my daughter. With my son, they knew about his dyslexia because we partially homeschooled him in HS at the school’s suggestion (they were not doing a good job of teaching him to write and, at the same time, the honors math curriculum was painfully slow for him) and the reason for the homeschooling was the dyslexia. We didn’t disclose EF issues in either case prior to admission.

I asked on CC and elsewhere about which elite schools were good for a dyslexic kid and which were not. The answers aren’t always consistent. In my son’s case, I thought the biggest variable was flexible curriculum. That way, he could add an art course if he had a heavier reading semester (he is actually reasonably artistic, though he has given that up to become a tech entrepreneur). I recommended he not go to my Ivy alma mater, which I loved (and he loved because he had attended at least two reunions) because of the distribution requirements. I could have been wrong, but it worked out generally very well. The Dean of Freshman became his advisor and sent my son back after he showed up with his proposed first semester schedule and said, “This schedule is too hard. I want you to learn how to succeed here. Come back with an easier schedule.” He did and got two A+s, one A and an A-. The Dean also advised him against taking courses with certain professors who would be relatively unaccommodating. Once he knew how to do the work, he graduated with a 3.95 GPA. I had graduated magna cum laude. He desperately wanted to graduate summa. This was dependent upon a senior thesis. He did a smashingly good job. It was the first summa his adviser had given in 18 years and at the defense, they told him that it was the easiest decision they had to make. My son missed a Y-Combinator interview for that thesis defense, but he was very pleased.

I will send you an interview with him shortly after graduation via PM. I will check with the coach as to whether she is still doing it. I suspect the answer is yes, though at the moment, I believe she is attending to difficult family issues.