Advice for son who does not care about grades

ordinarydad
Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:35:42 +0000

This thread made me think a lot about my role as a parent during this whole process as I have a daughter in her Junior year getting ready for college. She attends a public Magnet … I’m told that her HS is the best in the nation according to some magazine. I don’t pay much attention to this type of stuff, but I point this out only to make my point.

I am aware that a few kids at her school are probably learning math and science at a rate which can only be described as phenomenal… really difficult to comprehend unless you really think about it. Some of these kids are competing for spots on International Olympiad Teams which selects just a handful of students in the nation every year. And while there’s no national study on this matter, I can state with little doubt that students operating at this level really struggle unless they study and interact with other students of their peers. This is a constant struggle for many families who have these types of kids there, especially since we also have a very good state University only 2hrs drive away.

Bogi, I can tell you that based on what I’ve seen, you need to listen to your son and provide an environment where he will be challenged by his peers with similar strengths and interests. Ask him why he’s desirous to attend MIT, and he will undoubtedly answer that other students like himself in prior years have gone on to that school and are thriving. Talk to your son, and you’ll be amazed by what he’s not telling you.

I understand the argument that one can get a great education at any school… but for some kids learning at the highest level, I believe that this statement does not apply. I’m always hesitant to provide a sports analogy, but it appears that sending your son to anywhere besides where other top-rated math students end up attending - prob. Cal Tech, MIT, Princeton, Harvard - is like the most sought after high school football prospect choosing to play for a Div II school. And by the way, I found some links which suggests that your son is not alone in wanting to attend the top notch math schools…

[2008 USA IMO Team announced](http://www.unl.edu/amc/e-exams/e9-imo/e9-1-imoarchive/2008-ia/2008imoteamannounce.shtml)

[2007 USA IMO Team announced](http://www.unl.edu/amc/e-exams/e9-imo/e9-1-imoarchive/2007-ia/2007imoteamannounce.shtml)

Make him see the value in getting good grades and help him achieve his goal. If a child wants to sit in front of his WII and play games all day long, we as parents should guide them differently. Why should this situation be any different?