Advice for sons on sex,dating

dadoftrojan
Sat, 19 Mar 2005 15:10:51 +0000

WARNING: If you are a liberal whose definition of tolerance does not include conservative opinions, then skip this post.

For those who think abortion is NOT a viable solution to a pregnancy, that some actions are morally BETTER than others, and that “serial monogamy” is an oxymoron, you could provide a goal for your son to treat a woman as if she is worth waiting for (i.e. abstinence until marriage). Therefore, the following advice would be warranted:

Don’t date until you are ready to get married. (maybe junior or senior year)

Don’t date anyone you wouldn’t marry.

If you do not want to get yourself in trouble (i.e. too much sexual temptation), try going out with a girl in activities in a group setting.

However, a parent should only use this strategy if you believe it is true. You can start working on this strategy when your children are young. Emphasize the positive role models or marriages you see in movies (this, of course, requires watching movies that have some positive role models) or read about in books.

I am not naïve enough to believe that no college students are promiscuous nor am I GULLIBLE enough to believe that all college students are promiscuous. I was a normal, athletic college student who went to college before anyone was afraid of AIDS (i.e. sexual revolution era), and I and my friends played sports, worked at school work, had plenty of friends (male and female), and I was popular and considered nice-looking. However, I was intentionally NOT sexually active in college, and was still able to have a great time. I have no reason to believe that students are significantly more sexually active now than when we were in college. Both back then and now, it may well have been the case that the majority of college students were sexually active. But for both times, that still leaves TENS OF PERCENT OF PERFECTLY NORMAL COLLEGE STUDENTS who are not sexually active.

I do not associate a lack of embarrassment in buying condoms from your friend’s mother as a sign of maturity. This is simply getting over embarrassment. I would certainly hope that my son would refrain from sex in college. If he should happen to have sex outside of marriage and get a girl pregnant, I would encourage him to get married, and I would still help him to finish college. My son knows that I would, under no circumstances, recommend an abortion (possibly adoption). True maturity is when you are willing to do the right thing, even at some cost.