Advice from those with engaged kids, please...

frazzled1
Mon, 21 Dec 2015 12:50:17 +0000

My youngest daughter is engaged to her long-time boyfriend. They’ll be living together once he’s discharged from the military this spring, and the wedding will be the following summer. My two older daughters cohabited with their now-husbands both before they became engaged and during their engagements. I’ve seen a big (and welcome) change in the way parents view their adult children living together before marriage. Boomer parents are less likely than Greatest Generation folks were to see it as “playing house,” as Nancy Reagan described it 30-some years ago. And very few people will trot out that dreadful “why buy the cow” line nowadays.

I agree w/romani that living together before marriage (usually) doesn’t imply a lack of commitment - it’s more a matter of practicalities (the amount of time it takes to plan a wedding, why not live together and save money if you’re together all the time anyway, etc.), or an exploration of whether the couple can live together happily. But it does become complicated if one partner wants marriage and the other really doesn’t.