Advice RE: ADHD son with serious struggles

greenbutton
Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:13:34 +0000

(I wrote a post, and cc said the server was too busy, so I apologize if this is a repeat somehow)

You are a good mom with good questions, lots of worries, and very little control of the moving parts. He sounds like a great kid who is floundering, beset with challenges, but still your child with many wonderful gifts and abilities. But school isn’t one of them, and that’s hard at his age.

I think it’s terrific you can see his good sides, and that he is not completely tuned out. S1 has ADHD and people dont always appreciate how sad ADHD kids are on the inside. Try and find him something he can succeed at – any sort of volunteering is immensely good, but you will likely have to do it with him. Don’t get drawn into negotiating, don’t ask “why” questions, ask “what” questions, and feel good about setting healthy boundaries. Let him have input, let him see that you are on his side, but don’t give up.

S1 is even taller than yours, as is S2. It’s unnerving to have to stand on a box to confront them, but sometimes it breaks the tension nicely! Best of luck. Hang in there