African American parents....

Madaboutx
Tue, 25 Dec 2012 20:05:40 +0000

@NewHaven, My wife and I both attended Hampton University and thought at least one of our kids would go there. But with two very differently gifted kids they are or plan to go to schools that are best for their aspirations.

One is getting a BFA at a specialized college the other just got accepted to UPenn.

That said, as parents, we’ve had to overcome massive amounts of low expectations from teachers, guidance counselors, family, friends, neighbors, etc. it’s amazing. My D has scored in the top 1% of every standardized test shes ever taken, has a 4.0 GPA, has taken all honors and AP classes and ranks about 8 out of 550 students in a competitive school and got a 2250 SAT. And still, her athletic coach of 3 years who is teaching her APCalcBC says to us a few weeks ago, I didn’t realize how smart your daughter is until I graded a couple of tests. A compliment, I’m sure, but how does she have to do until she doesn’t have to prove herself, it’s just accepted.

I’m saying this because you are very likely going to have people always trying to help you be realistic about your daughter and her odds. They’ll encourage you to set your sights on realistic and attainable albeit lesser goals. Don’t ever listen.

The learning curve for us was steep. There are so many opportunities to excel and stand out from the pack but the process begins now if it hasn’t already for you. All the students look very similar statistically on paper. You should be developing the 2 or 3 passions that will help you stand out in life and on paper. And there is so much no one is telling you that you have to find out on your own. Academic, intellectual opportunities available to folks who know. It’s a complex maze. I learned that the wealthy don’t pay a fortune to private schools to teach their kids better biology or algebra. Those hefty bills buy guidance, the road map to elite schools admissions.

This is a little long winded and all I’m saying is to expect to do this mostly alone, CC is tremendously helpful. The people you hope to b the most helpful may not be at all. Cling to your daughters best teachers, keeping those LORs in mind. Experience life and don’t worry if your D isn’t always as strategic in her choices. If shes not happy, it won’t work. And make sure her social network, FB, Twitter or whatever is a diary of her successes, triumphs, community service, awards, etc. not her complaints, troubles or worst errors in judgement. We friended all of our Ds target schools and implemented a social network strategy.

All the best to you.