Am I wrong to feel upset?

nicksmtmom
Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:11:30 +0000

I LOVE the “keep your mouth shut” advice…and I second that. And not just to the director. Keep your mouth shut to the parents of all the other kids (they may have a child who is always in your child’s shadow without you even realizing it), keep your mouth shut to your girlfriends/male friends/co-workers (who will sympathize but not really get this crazy world of theatre and may roll their eyes at the crazy stage parent). You think your kids are the only ones who get a reputation for being pouty? Even a small whiff of “helicopter parent” in the air can linger long enough to make your child the brunt of one of these kinds of posts throughout your whole community. Everyone knows everyone. Say it here…and you’re okay. We all get it.

My husband and I have been very disappointed for our son at certain times (a lead in one show, Man #1 in the next). But we really watched our reactions and what we said around the dinner table. We never allowed him to bad-mouth the director or to be overly negative about a small part. We found a way to make him proud and challenged even when he was Man #1. I think we would all be suprised to know how much of their dissatisfaction with a part comes from US not thinking it was good enough. They LOVE the theatre, and sometimes the chorus parts can be even more fun than a lead…but if mom is disappointed, it must not be good enough.

Further, advise your child to clam up. Nothing is uglier that a kid going to school and telling everyone it should’ve been them (or a friend) who got something instead of the kid who got it…they have a dinner table too.

I know the OP was talking about false expectations, and not this little rant of mine…but it is a good reminder…even now that my son is going into college, where I agree with EmmyBet…I hope without us parents involved, it is a lot better situation.

p.s. This also happens in sports, careers, relationships, etc. See the good teaching moments…!?