Anxiety and lying.

jessiehl
Tue, 30 Sep 2008 09:46:05 +0000

As a mom and a teacher, I would much rather have a kid do something wrong and tell the truth than lie about it. It elevates it to a whole different level, and I don’t know how to get that across. Why don’t kids realize that we usually feel this way?



Frequently, people who say this (not necessarily you, but any kid can find enough examples to be scared off from truth-telling) will still have very unpleasant reactions if the kid tells the truth about what happened. So by lying, they’re gambling - even if they believe that you will react worse if you catch them in a lie, they’re going with the chance where they might get the worst but might escape all together, rather than the one where they know it will be bad.



Secondly, you have to put your money where your mouth is. When she tells you unpleasant things, don’t criticize, offer advice, or make a big deal out of it. She will soon learn that telling you what really happened is more helpful than lying.



Yes. Well, I’m not sure about the offering-advice part…the important part is tone and demeanor. Gentle advice can be fine.