Any parents tempted...

Olymom
Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:21:47 +0000

It can be effective to go for a walk with offspring (side by side means no dominance behavior) and say “We will have to have a number of conversations about what comes next. This is tricky because it is YOUR life but it is MY money.” And then be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. Resist the temptation to jump in with solutions.

Be confident in your kids that they do care and they do have ideas.

True story: one friend had a kid who was active in his sport. The season ends and the kid takes up residency on the den sofa. Barely budges for six weeks (other than to go to school and make it to the dinner table). One day the kid sits up and announces he will be going to an aviation repair program in North Dakota. Mom had no idea that there was such a program (there is) and that kid was interested (he was) or if it was of quality (it was). Kid is now an aviation mechanic and doing very well.

She later said “he just had to have that sofa time to think things through”.

We had another young friend who was having a hard time getting going on the college search and his mother said “you are coming with me” and took him along on a volunteer program to tabulate the homeless in our county. Three weeks of talking to people living in the woods made that young man decide college looked rather fabulous.

So don’t spend the money on a boat just yet.

Loved eyeamom’s advice!