Anyone care to quickly read my Activities Statement please?

BrownParent
Mon, 11 Oct 2010 16:37:10 +0000

I think it is generic sounding. You tell, but you don’t show and it does seem that if you answer the How question, you can get into specifics. I realize you don’t have much space, but it is worth it to try to find more impactful words.

We don’t get who ‘the person you are today’ is. instead of saying that, why not say ‘it made me x, y or z’?