Anyone else have a child who is having a hard time making the transition?

momofboston
Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:58:31 +0000

Hi -
Emmy I am sorry that you are still on the roller coaster…I think that there are many kids questioning their decisions. My gut tells me that kids transfer because of “fit” which includes both social and academic as well as missed expectations. I am also learning that sometimes when kid’s are expressing dissatifaction, they are not necessarily communicating what is really going on because they really are not sure or they are overwhelmed. For example, my D initially complained that she didn’t like living in the city…what I have learned is 1. that she hasn’t had the time to figure out where to get the things she needed (ie… learn the neighborhood) and she was frustrated and 2. she thought every other freshman was having more fun than her (it just turned out she was hanging with the wrong kids and needed to expand her core group to more like-minded kids - which she is doing and it seems to be working out.) She still is on the fence about her major but that will come in time. At home in our town, my D was considered very responsible and mature…but living in the city away she is really just an 18 yo kid that needs to find her way. She needs some maturity to figure it all out.

njmom-When my D is unhappy socially for whatever reason, she is just plain unhappy even if everything else in her life is going well. All work and no play just doesn’t work for her…and sometimes, the fit just isn’t right. So, if your son really knows that this place is not for him, I say he should cut his losses and transfer. Deadlines for many Jan transfers have already passed for many schools so he may have to stick out the year.