Anyone else have a child who is having a hard time making the transition?

abasket
Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:05:52 +0000

It’s so easy to second guess yourself - truth is, for many situations, you can’t know FOR SURE how life is at a school until you are there. Naturally, all schools put their best foot forward on visit days, in brochures, through their tour guides, etc. But, the whole process of kids making their “nest” at a whole new place - often will all new people - can take time. We ask them to get used to so many things - a new town, new daily schedule and time management, new friends, new clubs, living with a stranger (roommate), budgeting their time and money, controlling their freedom - the list goes on and on! Some do it well and easily. Some need more time. So, I think you have to give it some time - at the very least a semester. More reasonably to me, a year. While you have to look ahead with some tentative plans/ideas for possible change, you also have to remain focussed on what is current - the current living situation, the current classload - the tuition payment that has already been paid!

In the midst of all our negative conversations with my son, I learned to always try and ask the question “ok, now tell me ONE positive thing” - even if it was that roommate was leaving for the weekend so he would get the room alone or that he managed to scarf a couple of brownies out of the cafeteria for a late night snack. Small steps, simple pleasures.