Anyone else have a child who is having a hard time making the transition?

njfootballmom
Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:20:37 +0000

So, things have settled down (in my mind at least). Son still finds the school quite boring, is still doing poorly in Spanish.

He had ear surgery and today I saw it for the first time. Honestly I don’t think it worked. It does not look “normal” and I think it is filled up again. (ear hematoma, aka cauliflower ear) He is not overly concerned, although he did look at it more closely and agrees it might be filling up again. (stitches came out Thurs.) He’ll keep an eye on it and probably follow up with dr. He still wants to transfer, so he will have to explore that. I explained he has to keep grades up. He is doing great in Eng and if he drops Spanish he will get Econ tutor to get that one up higher. I’d rather he drop Span and get the best grades he can in the other classes, than sturggle with Span and let the others slip too. It might be too late to catch up the Span. If he transfers, the school he is going to doesn’t require a lang. Haven’t told him that though, so it doesn’t color is decision.

I really am amazed at those who do not understand that is social life is important to him. It is a big part of college and part of the reason I wanted him to go away, to expand his horizons. Sure it’s a bit shallow to like pretty girls better, but it’s not as though he ignores the rest of them. He is very popular with many types of people. Truth is, he is an attractive 18 year old with a good personality. Is it not normal for him to want an attractive girl? I did not “comb the stands” looking for girls, I watched the game. It was in the student center where there was a pile of them lined up for some sorority thing that I noticed. He had mentioned it, so I was looking to see if he was being picky.

Some people go to college and they are focused solely on the classroom. Others want the whole experience and if that means dating, athletics, and getting an education that is fine with me. As long as the schoolwork gets done I don’t care if he likes pretty girls. I don’t think I need to “talk” to him specifically about it, I’m sure we’ve discussed it from time to time. Like I said, he has many girl “friends” so he knows looks aren’t everything.

Finally, I don’t think his is an adjustment problem. I believe it just isn’t the right fit. He went up Aug 13 and now it’s 2 months later and he still doesn’t like it. I think I prefer that it is not the right fit that adjustment issue. He is not unhappy or sad, it’s just not for him. I would feel worse if I thought he was miserable.

Thank you to those who were understanding and supportive. I think the criticisms of us as shallow are unfair. To each his own.

Oh yes, Any thoughts on Spring transfer vs Fall transfer? pros or cons?