AP U.S. History DBQ

Mrdavid445
Mon, 04 Feb 2013 21:50:18 +0000

I know it has been almost 3 years since this was posted, but this is just for anyone interested:
First off, your thesis (America was forced into the war due to the blocking of U.S trade, American citizens loyalty to the war, and hatred towards Germans. ) is the most important part of your essay, and yours is weak. The thesis should begin with a dependent clause, and besides just listing three examples, you should tell us what your underlying three topics are.
Your first body paragraph is solid with information you know. However, you only used one document.
Your second body paragraph is solid. Could use some deeper level thinking.
Your third body paragraph is VERY WEAK. Not enough examples or details and no documents used.
Your conclusion should begin with a restated thesis, but the rest is fine.

Overall: I’m thinking this is a 4 or 5. A shaky thesis and a very weak third body paragraph contributed to the low mark, but the weak third body paragraph is the biggest kill. A small suggest I would make is to include the Russian Revolution, for it is a big factor in America’s declaration for war.