Appeal letter to UCSB

BunnyBlue
Mon, 27 Mar 2017 22:35:00 +0000

Probably someone else will help with content, but I can offer a few minor editing suggestions:

discouraging, however I am not the kind of person who just rolls
This drive was born eleven years ago with
I did not allow this to stop me, however, and I continue to work in the Dojo [Don’t use the walk away image here because you are talking about an injury that could prevent one from walking, so it seems odd.]
in Judo, and I have received my
a love of mine, stemming in part from my work in the Dojo, but also from the time I spent volunteering and then working as an employee at a local church
[Don’t repeat that you started working at the church when you were 14 in the next paragraph]
When I was 15, I was hired to work at a sandwich shop, where I went from entry level to night manager in just six months.
to the point that, when I was looking
asked me to stay on and told me that she would accommodate me. [not sure what is meant]

Edited: I just saw @Gumbymom’s response and agree that the letter contains the kinds of things that you may have already mentioned in the application essays. You have to have new and compelling information that was not in your application in order to win an appeal.