Appropriate Expectations 4 Kids: Do You Have Any?

megpmom
Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:12:18 +0000

I am a foster parent, as well as having biological kids of my own. I have seen all sorts of examples of bad parenting, and I have to agree that it doesn’t have the same effect on all kids. I think some kids are just resilient, self-regulating and optimistic, even in the face of truly horrible parenting. Other seem to be given everything and fall apart at the first sign of adversity. I’ve even seen very different reactions in siblings who were raised in the same environment. So much of how our kids turn out is based on their innate temperment.

Do I have high expectations? Yes. But H and I administer it with much love and patience. We guide rather than control. We allow choices where choices are appropriate. And we try to live as examples - “walk the walk” so to speak. Do I ever “lay down the law”? Only when it has to do with health or safety (either theirs or others). Has it worked for all of our kids - nope. Some kids are going to fail despite our best intentions. Plus I’m still praying and hoping that some of our “problem kids” will still turn around eventually. (I’m a hopeless optimist!)