Appropriate Expectations 4 Kids: Do You Have Any?

Brooklynborndad
Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:20:15 +0000

Our DD has never been a slacker, though she has been troubled with ADHD. The ADHD always frustrated her more than it did us. We did our share of homework copping - because she WANTED to stay at her magnet school, and we saw she had done better socially there. Her choices of colleges to apply to were appropriate, including reach and match schools. her career goals are suitably ambitious, IMO. She DID slack off summer between HS and her gap year program - I was starting to get frustrated, that she wasn’t even pursuing resume building volunteer activities, but DW said she deserves it after finishing K-12. As it turns out one of her friends was having personal problems DW and I did not know about, and DD spent a lot of time helping her friend.

I have not bothered her about the suitability of her BF’s as long as they have met standards for politeness, good treatment of her, and morals/values. They have been Jewish, so we haven’t had to deal with that issue. I dont bother, both because I think it would backfire, and because she is so young. As it turns out, she has made clear recently that a certain degree of ambition is important to her in a young man. She has come to that all on her own.

Theres a certain Zen to parenting. Even those of us who don’t mind being called helicopter parents, have to know just when to back off. Its hard to put into words - you “listen with the third ear” and you KNOW when it will work itself out without your intervention.