Appropriate Expectations 4 Kids: Do You Have Any?

Elleneast
Thu, 28 Oct 2010 14:40:03 +0000

My very high expectation for my daughter is that I want her to be a stand-up person. She knows that ultimately she needs to be able to put a roof over her head. Any way that she does it is fine with me.

My parents were very authoritarian and I went off to college without the tools to make my own judgements. I hope that my daughter understood that my parenting was more about learning how to handle life than any pre-determined goal that I set for her. It was her job to set her goals. Her Dad and I were around to give what I hope was good counsel (and to nag about the day to day “stuff”). I cared much more about her being an honorable person who worked hard and lived up to her commitments than anything else. If I had Attilla the Hun moments it was about organization and the occasional wet towel on the floor.

That is not to say that I didn’t give my two-cents worth and let her know that there are consequences for actions. Especially in middle school kids can be totally wacky when it comes to common sense but by the time she was in high school I felt it was a balancing act of occasionally cautioning and helping with organization but for the most part telling myself to back off and letting her figure it out.

She is a caring friend and an incredibly hard working person. She has had a number of curve balls thrown her way and has handled them. She works extremely hard for what she wants but is able to come up with Plan B and embrace it when Plan A doesn’t work out. THAT is a skill set worth having.

I am possibly the most ambitious person on the planet when it comes to my kid having the tools to create a relatively happy life. I guess that I am “old school”.