Are we being honest?

MomLive
Thu, 03 Dec 2009 10:26:14 +0000

If anyone asks, I say my kids are doing GREAT.



I don’t disagree with this. I’ve learned the hard way that sharing negative information with acquaintances can come back to bite you. We all have to figure out how, when and with whom to share our struggles. But the OP is assuming because someone is bragging about how great they children are, that those kids really don’t have any issues or negative personality traits. Nothing could be further from the truth in most cases. Let’s face it, most kids are a pain in the neck to deal with at times. It’s simply that a parent (for whatever reason – could be a great reason or a poor reason) is choosing to portray their children in a certain light. Saying your child is doing great doesn’t mean the child is doing great in all aspects of his or her life all of the time. It’s the equivalent of being asked “How are you?” and automatically responding, “Fine” regardless of whether that is true or not. It’s purely a social convention.

It seems to me that the OP is saying that sometimes she feels alone when she hears parents gushing on and on about how wonderful their children are because when she looks at her own child she realizes that while said child has some very positive qualities, she has engages in some less than positive behavior at times. I can understand why she feels this way. The OP is assuming that the kids of those parents who brag or automatically say their kids are great don’t have any of those negative qualities also. They probably do and the parents are simply choosing not to share it.

IMHO, you really can’t judge a book by its cover and you really have no idea how an individual person is faring based on a few superficial comments from someone who has a vested interest in making themselves or their kids look good. Nor are outwardly successes or accomplishments indicative of a truly happy person. In other words, don’t put too much stock in what people tell you about themselves. The only way to truly know how someone is doing is to spend a lot of time with them over a long period of time.