Asian Parents Frenzy

gr8pl8
Fri, 07 Apr 2017 20:42:13 +0000

Apples to apples, oranges to oranges. I have a son at UCSC who is really smart but very lazy. Does just enough to get by with low A’s or high B’s. If he applied himself he could have gone to a better school but he says what is the use because it is where you end up not how you got there. His basic philosophy, life is short so don’t worry. I have a HS daughter and is choosing between Columbia University and Stanford University, she is very smart also but is driven.

My wife and I are both college educated Korean Americans. I in the US and her in South Korea. We can honestly say that we did not push our kids in HS because we have been too busy making ends meet. I can understand your parents position because they have worked and sacrificed so much for your education and have dedicated themselves to you. We were planning on selling our house to afford Columbia or Stanford before their generous financial aid. I also understand your position because my parents were first generation and naive about colleges in the US. I paid my own way through school.

In my experience, you need to overcome the language barrier that exists between you and your parents. You write and probably speak English well to the point Korean is difficult. You don’t understand them and they don’t understand you, because your life is very different from the life they had. You need a third party who speaks both Korean and English with nothing lost in translation. Keeping your emotions in check and taking things out will bring mutual respect and a deeper understanding and ultimately a closer family.

Your parents will come around to your thinking because even if they don’t show it they love and respect you, it will take some time. They also know they don’t want to live their lives through you but as you know they have sacrificed so much for you. It is hard when other parents brag about their kids and their accomplishments. With the passage of time, where you go to college or what job you have or how much you make is not really that important because family is more important. Keep your head up and keep treading.

Hope this helps.