Avoiding a college because someone else goes there?

TheGFG
Wed, 20 Oct 2010 10:37:10 +0000

My S ended up going to the same college as his high school GF. It wasn’t the first choice of either one of them, so it wasn’t as if they planned to go off to college together. Rather, it was the best school each of them were admitted to. That made me feel comfortable that fit issues weren’t being ignored in favor of the relationship.

I didn’t like the idea for some typical parental reasons, like concern about them becoming too involved when they needed to be focusing on studies. But specifically for my S, I worried because he doesn’t tend to prioritize being social. So I was afraid that having one very good friend already would feel like enough to him, and he wouldn’t work too hard at meeting lots of people. Then if they ever broke up, he’d be really lonely at college.

Well, they stayed together for 3 more years. S had joined a frat and some other organizations, so he did have friends. But I wouldn’t say he had a lot of them or many close ones beside the GF. So my fears were realized.

Still, I did feel that it was his choice and he needed to be the one to make it.