BAD Visit, Need to Vent

YabbaDabbaDude
Thu, 07 Apr 2011 08:43:03 +0000

@paying3tuitions (you have my sympathy) - Thanks for that post. I was looking on CC and didn’t see a whole lot about bad visits, and the vent has certainly helped. BTW our arrangements were made in writing, in Email. So no one can say they didn’t know! We have a nice back and forth email trail.

There is another thing people seem to have not quite picked up over the posts, so I guess I need to explain. My son is actually fairly social, and very flexible for someone with Asperger’s. Once these kids have their “schedule” and they have their room - then they have their space, even if there’s a roommate, and so they also know what to expect, they know what to do, etc. It’s a lot different from being left alone in a stranger’s room, knowing no one.

I love how people assume we don’t know anything about college. We parents are both teachers (including one college professor), and we see what happens to students who are not “socialized” or taught social skills. But, what happens when even socialized spectrum kids are left with absolutely no structure is that they just freeze out of anxiety. They get overwhelmed with all the “choices” - because it’s infinity, in a sense - and can’t function. You might as well drop the kid in the middle of a corn field.

That’s why the orchestra rehearsal was a haven for him. I know he won’t have problems joining clubs, etc. Band/orchestra will take care of the first step. He has no problem in making use of his spare time, or making choices when they are given to him. To him, sitting in the dark alone was a better choice than going alone to a hangout. The zombies/humans game was going on there - and he would have LOVED to have taken part, but no one asked.

What is funny is one of the reasons he likes this college is because he loves the campus. He said it’s beautiful, he loves the trees, the open space, etc. He did wander around before it got dark. I told him there *are a lot of schools around with trees and space…!!

@paying, your nephew may be ok, too. Tell his parents to start looking now. We heard that spectrum kids do best within an hour and a half of home (or family, i.e. grandparents), and it makes total sense. If we had relatives in MA, he’d have applied to Clark, as others have mentioned, as well as a couple of others which we have heard are fairly accepting up in New England.

We took three years just researching colleges to apply to. He was accepted to 6 out of 8, and waitlisted at one, and Bad Visit College was (is?) one of his top *two. Personally, I’d like him to go to the one closest to home, “just in case”, even though it’s not ideal as far as his major goes. But that’s his third choice, lol.

I’ve drafted my letter, had a few people read it, will send later today. Will fill you in if I hear anything from them. But I can tell you that if they want him to come to Accepted Students Day, they have a Lot of butt kissing to do.