Been at college for 2 months and I hate it

blackdoodle2018
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 00:49:43 +0000

I have never been more homesick in my life. I literally cry multiple times a day every day. For context, I am about 45 minutes away from home, I am more introverted, have anxiety and OCD, but that does not mean I do not want friends and people to hang out with. High school was great. I had a solid friend group and was able to come home every day and hang out on the weekends sometimes if I wanted to. Here, I feel like if I’m not constantly hanging out with someone or looking for friends, I feel like I’m falling behind. Not to mention the stress of potentially missing a club event because you have to study, or not hanging out with someone because then the racing thought that they will never want to hang out with you again. It is so exhausting feeling like this every day, and the only thing that keeps me going is counting down the days until I go home for the next break. I have been limiting myself to going home for breaks only because I want to adjust so badly, and going home, I feel like only a break that adjustment and puts me in a never-ending cycle. My parents are extremely understanding and have suggested either coming home every weekend or commuting, but I look at this as giving up, and I am scared to give up if there is something, so I restrain myself from going home. For context, I don’t have a solid friend group that I want to hang out with for the next four years, but I have many acquaintances, a few I hang out with. Not to mention getting ready to hang out is a mental battle because I freak out so bad to the point of tears with the racing thoughts of not wanting to go because what if they don’t like me, all the things. To make matters even worse, my roommate is horrible; he stays up all night loudly with his girlfriend and sleeps in the room all day, smells, and is extremely messy. We have no common interests at all. I COULD commute or request a single room for my anxiety and OCD, but I feel like both options would ruin my college experience. I’m honestly just so lost and exhausted from being at the brink of a mental breakdown 24/7. I’m curious if anyone has felt this way or has had kids feel this way, and how it ended up working out for them.