Big fish, small pond --> Small fish, big pond

sammielue21
Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:55:08 +0000

I’m really worried – perhaps overly so – that I’m going to get to college and not be able to handle not being one of the smartest people in the room. That sounds awful, and I realize that, but I had to phrase it as straighforward as possible. All throughout high school I’ve been percieved as relatively smart; but I’ve always known I’m not that much smarter than my peers, I just seemed it because I studied harder.

But going to college I’m not going to have that recognition. It may seem like a tiny thing, but to me it’s really important. Maybe not really important, but kind of. For example, at our senior awards night I recieved something like the second most awards even though I’m not even in the top ten. So you see my dilema – I’m receiving praise for being “smart,” “hardworking,” etc. etc. but I don’t always feel that I diserve it. I worry that without it, I’ll begin to feel below average and stop working as hard as I have in the past.

**Reading back over this, I realize that I sound border-line conceited, perhaps even full-on full of myself. But I promise I’m not. It was really hard to write this, but it is my biggest fear… And it isn’t phrased perfectly and it’s only touching on how my mind is conceiving it. But any input into my worries would be so, so appreciated.