Brother ran away! Help.

Schmoomcgoo
Sun, 04 May 2008 00:43:54 +0000

I feel so sorry for you, Jlsniff.



But, the problem is if your child was in this position and you asked to speak with him and he said no, what would you do. What kind of character- or lack of, does this show?



I would spend some time reflecting on how I contributed to the situation and also spend some time trying to understand his perspective and I would write him a letter owning my part and apologizing for anything I would have done differently. I would also express my understanding of his perspective as well as any lack of understanding on my part and asking him to propose a reconciliation he could live with. I would assure him that I love him and, despite what he may think, have acted, however wrongly, out of love for him and concern for his future. I would further assure him that I will continue to love him and work with him toward a mutually respectful and agreeable reallignment of our relationship. All of this would be done with heart-wrenching anquish and remorse on my part.

I echo the advise of the others who suggest counseling. Like you, I am non-religious, so please believe me when I tell you Mormonism is not the problem. It may be complicating your family’s perception of the problem, but it is not the problem and until your family lets go of the idea that it is they are unlikely to address the real issues.

For heaven’s sake, don’t be pushing your brother any further away with snide remarks at school. You wouldn’t have asked for help if you didn’t want to be part of the solution; don’t be part of the problem.