Brother ran away! Help.

ucsd_ucla_dad
Sat, 03 May 2008 19:01:11 +0000

From your post it looks like the root issues are within your household - not the GF, GF’s mom, GF’s religion, or friend. I’d forget about blaming them or the Mormon religion and ‘brainwashing’. They’re just a convenient escape route for your brother.

A few things to keep in mind - if your brother’s 18 he doesn’t need your parents’ permission to get married (you said they’d never allow it), he can go to the college of his choice as long as he can afford it on his own (not likely unless he got a full ride including housing) and is accepted, and he can move out of the house.

None of that is recommended of course, but it’s important to keep in mind that it’s all possible.

It sounds like in your brother’s mind your parents might have been too controlling and your brother is rebelling. I assume a large part of the fighting was related to which college he’d attend. I think your parents need to re-evaluate their arguments, why they’re taking the stance they are, whether they should let up on the college question and maybe a few other things, and try to consider what’s really important in this issue - like reconciling with your son and finding a good compromise.

Good luck.

edit:
Your brother’s taking a big risk taking a loan with his friend’s parents co-signing (assuming this is really true). If there’s any falling out whatsoever they’ll no longer cosign and your bro will be out of luck. Any cosigners are taking a big risk as well of never getting paid back.