Brown v. Swarthmore

wolrab
Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:54:36 +0000

Hi. I am the OP’s mom. He is off in the Alaskan wilderness for a while – recovering from the intensity of the past year – so I am writing on his behalf, to let you know what he decided.

After an intense day of agonizing – and I really do mean agonizing (not helped by the fact that a good friend of his will be at Haverford) – over this decision (he couldn’t even begin to think about it during finals or high school graduation weekend), he decided to stick with Brown. When I asked him what I should tell people about why he decided as he did, he said “tell them I went with my heart.” Indeed, he had had that fabled “gut feeling” when he visited Providence in April, something he hadn’t felt anywhere else. As well, he had gotten really excited about all of the different possibilities at a larger school, and he realized that he will definitely find his Swarthmore/Chicago types at Brown, though know and work with them in perhaps a more varied and balanced (and yes, perhaps healthier, for him, too) context/atmosphere. My husband summarized things well, I think, when he said to our son “your initial adjustment may be harder (by which he meant that he may have to look a bit harder and longer for soul mates), but your long term growth will be greater.” For our son (I do not at all mean to be making sweeping statements about any school here), I think he is right. Letting go of Swarthmore was not easy. (For me either.) He has grown up hearing me say “everyone I’ve ever met who went to Swarthmore really knows how to think.” Swarthmore was an excellent fit for him, in many, many ways. He is a born scholar and a deeply caring person who wants to make the world a better place. But so is Brown a good fit for him. (Interestingly, it is the place where I would have gone, if I had been able to follow my heart – but I was unable to say “no” to that place in Cambridge, where he didn’t even bother applying, wise child that he is – too many graduate students, etc.). If he had had this choice initially, it may have gone differently, I don’t know. By the time he got in off of the Swarthmore waitlist, he had been wearing his Brown t-shirt, immersing himself in the Brown course catalog, telling people that’s where he was going, and so forth. His identity as a Brown student had already been born.

I"m glad he posted here for advice. CC wisdom is always much appreciated.