BS experience vs. parental guidance

ThacherParent
Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:33:41 +0000

I can’t determine if your son would attend Lawrenceville as a day student, but I assume so based on your comments. There is a lot of discussion about the merits of boarding vs. day on this site, but I think the majority consensus is that a boarder gains access to a set of invaluable growth opportunities that a day student cannot have, no matter how many hours he spends on campus. At the top of that list is learning to thrive in the absence of the parental crutch. There simply is no substitute for the pace and type of maturation this independence produces.

I also think that Dodgersmom’s question is spot on. Why is Exeter your reflexive choice? If you’re letting “other people” tell you that it’s the best, then you should quickly rethink that assumption. It’s only the best for a certain type of kid, not all kids…. and maybe not yours. Exeter and Lawrenceville are two very different flavors. If I were making the choice between the two (and day vs. boarding did not figure into it), I would be fully confident that both choices were equally strong across the board and it would be entirely about which place my son liked more in his gut. I would step out of the choice, happy that either one is winning.

Finally, with respect to missing your kid, without question that’s the parent’s number one sacrifice, followed by the dollars. I sent my son across the country and I missed him 24x7. But, I knew that I was doing the right thing. His love of learning inside and outside the classroom, his ability to manage time, his ability to focus, his ability to overcome obstacles on his own - all of these are habits etched in and by boarding school. It is for these sorts of gains that parents suck it up and let their kids have the experience, all the while waiting for the next exciting visit home!!