C&C on My Essay

greneroom
Sat, 10 Nov 2012 17:13:52 +0000

In all honesty, it is not very good. You misused semi-colons twice.

Carol was an angel; there is no other way around it

She told me; “There are always alternatives to have fun”.



You also switch back and forth from sounding pretentious to sounding colloquial, and at times it sounds like you’re bragging. I suggest you work on your writing style, make this essay more about you, and show an English teacher or someone else your essay and have them help you. Best of luck.