Can I ignore a Facebook "friend" request from a relative?

teriwtt
Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:22:05 +0000

spideygirl - it’s not quite so clear on facebook; once you ‘friend’ someone, they can post whatever they want on your facebook wall, for all your other friends to see. Of course, you can delete the post when you log on and find it, but in the meantime, any of your other friends might have seen it.

I think kids are much more prone to accruing as many friends as they can, and thus, accept most requests. Adults are typically much more choosey. So it’s not like you can friend someone, and that’s it… you open up a whole new world for them to say things about you, or to you, very publicly.

For instance, several weeks ago, I was having ‘family of origin’ issues with my brother, and several of my facebook friends knew about it (because I’d talked to them about it in person). They knew not to make any comment on my facebook wall about it, even anything innocent such as, “Teri, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends”, and being very well meaning with it, and trying to be supportive. But I have three of my nieces as my friends on facebook, so even a supportive-seeming statement like that might create curiosity, leading them to ask their dads (my brothers) what was up.

So, once you open the door to ‘friending’ someone, there can be negative consequences, because they have access to publicize anything they want about you.