Can someone please grade my essay and give me a few pointers?

campers
Fri, 26 Sep 2014 09:36:38 +0000

Should people make an effort to keep things private?

In a century where the world is so open, privacy in life is like a mirage in a desert. I a candid place like earth, people expect the truth. Trying to conceal things not only breaks the explicit trust but makes the human life a facade. The example of Smriti Irani, a renowned politician buttresses my claim that people should strive to be frank and open.

Intellectual and astute, Smriti Irani is an Indian politician who, during elections kept mum on her educational background. Not until after the elections, was it exposed that she had never attended college. From her perspective, she was entitled to keep this information private: wanting the country to judge her on how she performed for the citizens rather than what her educational qualifications were. But antitheses to this percept, the people felt cheated and robbed of their rights. Thus the term ‘privacy’ for every individual changes with how they see the world.

Using the hackneyed excuse of ‘privacy’, hundreds of companies, by chicanery have fooled millions of naive people. In a time when countries, thousands of miles apart, are coming together by globalizing and communicating: trying to keep things private, according to me, just halts this process, hindering further interaction and endangering the human survival.