Can You Please Grade My Essay?

noahark10
Thu, 06 Mar 2014 06:26:31 +0000

I wrote this essay for a recent SAT test and I am having trouble understanding what I need to improve on. So I would be very appreciative of anyone who would read and respond to my essay. Also, giving it a score (2-12) would be helpful. Thank you!

Prompt- There are two false assumptions about experts. One is that they see more clearly and think more intelligently than ordinary citizens. Sometimes they do, sometimes not. The other false assumption is that these experts have the same interests as ordinary citizens and hold the same values. In fact, the important decisions of society are within the capability of ordinary citizens. Not only can ordinary people make their own decisions without the help of experts, but they ought to. Adapted from Howard Zinn, Declarations of Independence

Assignment- Should people make more decisions on their own and rely less on the advice of experts? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

When individuals and ordinary people make decisions for themselves, without consulting experts or analysts, their choices represent a more coherent and personal choice that truly expresses their beliefs. This rawness of perspective and genius can help to accomplish the most amazing feats in the world.
The most prominent example of the power of a person’s judgment in modern times is in political structures. The United States of America, one of the most successful countries today, has practiced a representative democracy where it lets the people assist in deciding its policies and leaders. The power and success of this nation, run, in part, by the “average Joes” portrays just how powerful and adept the public is at making decisions. Also, even when all sorts of experts and analysts try to influence the decisions of Americans, their analysts often get blindsided by a shot down policy or bill despite their efforts. Nevertheless, people often get little credit for their ability to distill and interpret true motives and think rationally for themselves.
Some opponents wold say that without education or expertise in a topic, a person’s decision would often be uninformed. These people would like experts rule the world while ordinary citizens sit by passively. What opponents don’t realize is the power of purity and true intentions that the citizens have. when an expert makes a claim, there is no way of knowing if the claim is genuine or if factors like sponsors and money are influencing the claim. As influential people can be corrupted or persuaded in this way, regular people are able to make decisions with the true interest of the country’s well being.
When people stand up for their right to influence the fate of a large decision, they often make rational and logical choices. While not being influenced by the temptations of power, average people can more easily focus of the effects and logic of their decisions. Taking away or suppressing the power of the public in favor of experts would take away its innocence and truth, as well as hinder many future decisions.