Can you please read my UC Personal Statement?

BE3ZY219
Mon, 20 Oct 2014 17:14:05 +0000

Prompt: Describe the world you come from—your family, your community, or your school and tell us how your world shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Most children grow up not thinking much about the world around them, but I have always had a fascination with foreign countries. My parents, coming from different nations, first started telling me stories about these places when I was about seven. These stories created vivid images in my head, which my brain had a difficult time grasping. I had never been outside the United States, and at an early age, I wanted to start exploring. I recall playing a game on the computer that taught kids about China. As I stared into the screen, I wondered if China actually looked as it appeared on the computer. “I want to go to China when I grow up,” I told my mother. I was not content with the little information the game delivered. So I began learning more on my own by reading.

I started to develop an interest in Christopher Columbus and his explorations around the world. “What did the travelers think of the people?” “What did they think when they first touched these new lands?” These questions became the same questions I asked myself when I started my traveling experiences.

When I was twelve, my parents took me to Thailand during a business trip. As I sat in the plane, I stared at the flight path instead of watching movies. Every time we were flying over a new destination, I would stare out the window and focus my eyes on the lights below. As I peered down to the world below, I imagined what it was like. I recalled the information from books I read, and reminisced in my thoughts. As we got closer to our destination, I noticed the different traffic pattern below as the ground came closer, and just that unique difference made me jump in my seat. When we finally landed, I felt as if I stepped onto a new planet. I could not read anything. I could not understand anything, but I was thrilled. I breathed the new scent in the air and gazed in awe at the sight before me.

As years went by, I planned a visit to a new country at least once a year. At the age of fifteen, I began noticing the differences between western countries and third-world countries. I knew that my friends had no idea how lucky we were. Some children around the world lived in huts on the sides of busy streets. Even if they died, no one cared. I then developed another reason for wanting to travel: to help those who are misfortunate. I wanted to do something. Provide them healthcare, give them food, or just befriend them. At the time, I was only able to hope.

My strong passion for helping individuals and accepting foreign cultures is the result of my travels and early influences that have helped shaped my persona both inside and outside the classroom. By allowing myself to participate in programs like, “Doctors without Borders” I hope to continue expanding my horizons and bringing light to the shadows of poverty-stricken individuals while learning their way of life.

Tell me what you think. What should I improve on? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it on topic? Thanks!

Read full thread