Child getting cold feet

CountingDown
Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:54:55 +0000

ihs, S1 was also 16 when he hit the “send” button on his EA apps. It is a real time of reckoning for these kids – no matter how one looks at the admissions process, they are about to be judged, and that is a scary thing. It’s tough to pour heart and soul into an application and then have to wait to see “if you’re good enough” – and no matter how tough the odds and how qualified your kid is, it STILL feels like judgment on a certain level.

We made sure he felt be happy with the flagship (which was the financial, admittance and close-to-home option) and then let him loose wherever else he wanted to apply. A gap year would not have worked for him – he likes structure. By April, he was done with HS and ready to move on to better things and had matured tremendously. When he sat down with us the third weekend in April to tell us what his thoughts were, it was clear he had committed himself to an intense, mature analysis. It has become clear since that it was an excellent, if not perfect decision – but he has made it work for him in ways that his other choices could not have done.

I suspect S2’s reluctance to get on with essays reflects some ambivalence about leaving – not that he wants to stay home, but the people and things that are most important in his life are also changing over the next year, and it takes time to grapple with that.

It is TOTALLY normal to have doubts, and I’d let your S know that. He is not alone.