Chores and Returning College Students During Summer - Any Problems?

blossom
Fri, 07 Jul 2017 22:12:52 +0000

OP- big hug. You sound like you are coping wonderfully with an enormous amount on your plate.

One tip from someone who has been there (four elderly parents-- all needing care- varying degree of help from the siblings involved)-- your kids aren’t doing what they’ve been asked to do because there are zero consequences to not doing them.

If your kid comes down to breakfast in the morning and the orange juice container is in the fridge- empty- because that’s where he put it the day before, that’s a consequence. If your kid is going out to see friends and reaches into the drawer to find a clean pair of jeans- and the drawer is empty, because he didn’t do the laundry yesterday, and it was his day to do the laundry- that’s a consequence. mildewed towel, no gas in the car, a phone which is over the data plan so guess what- no more minutes for the month, and horrors- the drawer in the kitchen which always has twenty bucks in singles and quarters for emergencies- empty.

That’s what it takes. You will be a basket of nerves during week one because the house will be a wreck, but week 2 will be calm and week 3 will be bliss. You do your own laundry and wash your own towel and make yourself a cup of coffee for your own mug but that’s it.

Seniors in college know how to buy groceries and know how to run the washing machine and know how to clean a toilet. When it gets disgusting or they get hungry or they are going out with friends and can’t stand to wear smelly clothes- they will get with the program.

And THEN you can sit them down and explain that you are burning the candle at both ends trying to hold things together, and the new regime of them pitching in and being adults is the way it’s going to go moving forward. You love them, and will always be there for them, but the days of you folding their laundry and keeping the refrigerator stocked are over. And you will always love them and are so proud of them.