College Choices for Average Student?

Westchestermom
Thu, 03 May 2007 00:34:49 +0000

Kharts, I feel for you and I am sorry you’re dealing with this extremely heartwrenching situation with your stepson. A couple of thoughts…

Firstly, I think your stance regarding the car is good. Your SS seems to have little structure in his life and at least in this one area he’s learning that he’s not entitled. I think stick your ground even if it seems like it’s not working. It is sending a message.

Secondly, kudos to you for maintaining a World of Warcraft free zone, though it sounds like he’s seeking his fix elsewhere. This sounds like a MAJOR MAJOR issue, not to be underestimated. Unfortunately, breaking an internet addiction is not an easy thing. The time spent playing the game is no doubt a factor in his poor academic performance and lack of extracurricular interests. His emotional and familial situation makes him particularly vulnerable to an MMORPG addiction. (Massively Multiple OnLine Role Playing Game)

Doctor claims 40 percent of World of Warcraft players are addicted | Ars Technica;
http://www.wowdetox.com/

There are many personal stories posted on wowdetox.com. Maybe showing a few to your stepson would strike a chord and possibly open his eyes to what is going on with his obsession with the game. (Though more likely he’ll be in denial).

I tend to think the community college option is one to keep on the table. I don’t think it necessarily makes sense to finance failure.

I think if he displays interest in college, some degree of motivation and enthusiasm, some effort to bring up his grades and prep for the SATS, then a private college should be considered with parameters such as a semester review of grades and limits on yearly cost. (Although if he pulls less than a 2.0 mostly likely the college will kick him out for you). You’ll know this behavior when you see it. His question to you is a tiny, but good start. The good news about finding a private college is that it will require some effort from him.

I wouldn’t worry too much about mounting a search to find a college that is really unselective to ensure his acceptance with his current GPA. The crucial thing is finding a college that turns him on and generates some excitement. If that happens, if he seems to be taking some responsibility, then it’s an option worth exploring. Don’t make it too easy for him- I think he needs to be involved in the work of the college search which is considerable. Stress to him that you’ll help, but this is a path that’s up to him. Ask him to share his plans and strategies for academic success. Do a little handholding if he’ll let you- make sure he knows what support options are available at the institution he enrolls at (counselling, tutoring etc.)

On the other hand, if he maintains a disinterested stance, acting as though college is something he’s forced to do, or placing the ball in your court, then community college strikes me as a very reasonable option which should satisfy the court mandated requirement to pay for college (it is college after all). I don’t think you should be bullied into paying for a private college if there’s no display of some amount of increase in maturity and responsibility. It seems to me that part of your parental responsibility is to guard those funds and make sure they are invested wisely. Remember that if there are attempts to induce guilt/emotional blackmail from SS or the Biomom.