College Choices for Average Student?

kharts
Tue, 10 Oct 2006 23:13:00 +0000

We have had an army of counselors, psychatrists, psychologists on the case including a family therapist working with us and him and his mom. We do what we can. We’ve ruled out clinical depression or any other psychiatric disorders, issues, and learning disorders. What we are dealing with is a lot of behavioral issues. For depression, disorders, disabilities, we’d mount a court battle to intervene. For behavior issues that we are providing him with every resource to get in control, we’re just not willing to mount that battle.

We spent last year in litigation because of a divorce decree that requires my husband to pay room and board. His daughter wanted to move off campus. After much begging/pleading, he agreed but only under a variety of conditions including an agreement from his ex and his daughter that if she moved her boyfriend into the apartment, he wouldn’t pay rent. (Still paid for tuition, books, food, etc., but not rent.) She moved him in, lied about it, and when we found out, we stopped paying rent. About a year later, his ex sued us saying it didn’t matter that they had once agreed or that their daughter had lied. He had to pay up. We refused, and she dropped the lawsuit only after she went through thousands upon thousands of dollars and couldn’t afford to continue. It was miserable, miserable and things are only just now beginning to heal a little bit. I’m not interested in another battle under these circumstances.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have empathy for him, and so I’m willing to help steer him a bit.

Alcohol issues? I know he drinks occasionally–at his mom’s house, no less, but I don’t sense it’s abuse. I’m pretty confident drugs aren’t the issue. The kid is honest about stuff he does to a fault.

As for gaming, our house is a World of Warcraft free zone during the week, and for this and other reasons, he won’t spend time here.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond. I know it’s a situation that makes you just want to reach through and shake us as there obviously are mountains of issues that selecting a college won’t fix. But it’s a way for us to forge a connection and feel like maybe we’re doing something rather than watching the train wreck.