College controlling student's weight

nynightowl
Sun, 28 Sep 2014 00:02:26 +0000

Last Sunday I decided to unplug and take a 24 hour hiatus from the internet – that day turned into many and I had an interesting week away from the virtual world. But I wanted to update this thread for all the helpful CCers who gave me advice and feedback.

I had a long phone conversation with D last Saturday and learned that the weight monitoring was no longer related to the sport at all (if indeed that ever had been the central concern) and was simply a result of college policy mandating a BMI standard. I asked D to release her records which she agreed to (‘of course mom’), and I grilled her about her health, menses, eating habits, everything I could think of. I am convinced she is the same healthy kid who left home less than a month ago. She is simply the unfortunate/misguided target of an undoubtedly well intentioned policy by the college to intervene with girls who are suffering from eating disorders. D doesn’t happen to be one of those girls. I got her permission to contact the Health Center and she gave me contact info for the NP managing her case, who also happens to be the director the Health Center! I talked to D about how we should proceed individually and together, and we agreed on goals and strategies.

I emailed the director and asked her for a copy of the policy mandating BMI and any other policies/protocols she was relying on to “treat” D. I asked to schedule a phone date. I bcc’ed D3 on the email; she was relieved that I was in her corner as I have rarely (maybe never) done anything like this for her before, and I think she is feeling in over her head with how to advocate for herself. (D sent me a text at some point this week calling me a ‘fierce mommy’ which I think is a compliment – also she hasn’t called me "mommy’ since she was 10 years old so I think she is appreciating the support!))

The Director replied agreeing to talk after she cleared it with D (which she did later that day) and attached a document called “X College Guidelines for the Management of Eating Disorders and Nutritional Concerns. Approved 3/19/2010. Revised 9/23/2014”. So the document was revised the day she sent it to me!!! I can’t second guess which part of the document was changed before she sent it to me, but the basic point is that the policy it outlines ( and yes there are very specific BMI ranges mandated) is directed to students who have EDs or weight related health concerns, neither of which D has. We made a phone date (and then another when the first didn’t happen) but the director has not called me yet - each time she doesn’t call she sends an email apologizing for being very busy and forgetting to call. I have been very tempted to send her my concerns in writing in the meantime, but I think it best to see if perhaps one phone call might redirect this whole thing.

D texted me after her Health Services visit on Thursday assuming that I had talked to the NP/director bc she said there was already a distinct difference in the attitude and requirements. Whereas previously she was told she absolutely had to reach 108 pounds by December, at the most recent visit, they had tempered the demands and seemed OK as long as she wasn’t losing weight. Also a nutritionist got involved and she said the rapid weight gain they were requiring was unhealthy. Hooray for nutritionists. Maybe they also reviewed their own protocols and realized their mistake? I really won’t know until I actually talk to the NP, but D seems relieved and now believes that she might be freed from the bogus program. I have a backup plan, but hope it can be resolved without any real dispute.

The problem is, as some have said in this thread, that D is at the low end of weight standards, and therefore is an exception to a college policy/standard that may be appropriate in (most?) other applications. My concern continues to be that they are judging these girls ( there was a well publicized example at Yale, article linked upstream) by BMI which is acknowledged to be a useless indicator of health, rather than by behavior or genuine health problems which should be the guidelines for diagnosing a condition requiring medical treatment.

Thanks again for all the thoughtful input last week. This is when I’m grateful for the internet.