College controlling student's weight

awcntdb
Sun, 28 Sep 2014 07:27:02 +0000

Thank you very much for the update.



D is at the low end of weight standards…



I suggest you never let them forget this and dutifully repeat this every time you talk to someone. It is so important not let them forget that scientifically low does not mean abnormal AND low does not automatically mean unhealthy.



Possibly cc-ing the office of the president for this college.



This I would not recommend.

If the issue is being handled satisfactorily, no need to expand the number of people involved. Give the director credit in being responsive to you, at least by email. I do think, however, the Director not talking to you yet is a sign that they are unsure of their own initial decision re your daughter actually has a problem.

And that fact they have not sent a specific set of line items and results from your daughter’s medical records to indicate a clearly identifiable problem based on medical data other than BMI says that there are not any. This seems to be a BMI-only issue.



D sent me a text at some point this week calling me a ‘fierce mommy’ which I think is a compliment – also she hasn’t called me "mommy’ since she was 10 years old so I think she is appreciating the support!))



That is beyond a compliment.

She sees you in her corner and as someone who backs her, not just someone who is obligatory and being a parent. You cannot buy such a text; you have to earn it big time. She was “shaken and shrunken” a bit by this (maybe a lot}, and your support gave her her “confidence and height” back and then some.

Realize too that there is rainbow here. Just imagine the model you just gave her in knowing when and how to back up her kids. Cannot buy that either.

If you can, you could also quietly and subtly use this opportunity to continue conversation and further forge a closer relationship with her. It might be a crappy situation to be in, but you also have a great opportunity to make a big win out of it as well.