College for an Introvert

purpleacorn
Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:45:47 +0000

This broke my heart, because this was me when I applied to schools. I hate large groups of people in social settings, but love large group task-oriented meetings. I come alive in conversations with one or two friends (and am inordinately silly and outspoken), but don’t know what to do when I’m at a mixer to save my life, and I spend all of my ‘free’ time alone in my room, watching Netflix and relaxing.

The biggest piece of advice I can give your daughter is to understand and become okay with who she is. I’m at Duke-- where I almost didn’t go-- that has perhaps a school marketed for extroverts with its school spirit and ‘work hard play hard’ popular ethos. But I’ve definitely found spaces that aren’t like that-- and I’ve created spaces like that for myself as well. I chose my school based on the opportunties and programs offered here, and strangely enough, I really do love it.

For me, the first step was understanding that I was never going to want to go out and party or ‘have a good time’ or anything like that-- and that it was okay. I then found a whole bunch of opportunities where there are smaller groups in which I feel comfortable-- I take time to dance, am involved in student government, work in a fairly small office, etc. There are times when I feel ‘antisocial’ and like I’m ‘doing something wrong,’ but then I remember that I’m happy the way I am and give myself mini reality checks.

I think it also helps that I’m not in a ‘big’ major at Duke like Econ or Biology or Engineering; all of my courses are under twenty people this semester, and the majors I’m interested in are definitely smaller ones or smaller programs.

So no, don’t believe the hype. It’s definitely possible, even at a large ‘party’ school like Duke. I think an LAC would definitely be a better fit in the macrosense, but if there are larger schools that offer really compelling programs or things, don’t discount them! I don’t think you can PM yet (until you hit 15), but I’m always willing to talk and things.