College Sophomore wants to marry

OperaDad
Thu, 19 Feb 2009 13:25:46 +0000

Not exactly relevant to the discussion, but it does have some relevant points:

[Do Boomerang Children Deserve Sympathy? - Money News Story - WISN Milwaukee](Milwaukee News, Weather and Sports - Wisconsin News - WISN Channel 12)

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Does Helping Actually Hurt?

For parents whose grown children are struggling financially and want to move home, the question will always remain: is helping them actually hurting them, or will helping actually help? It’s a delicate balance that each parent must determine for themselves.

“How do you keep from infantilizing a child who needs to live at home for financial reasons? All these things really have to be weighed, because what you want to do is offer your kids whatever furthers their independence, as opposed to their dependence,” said Adams.
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So, given that the economy may be dictating a lot of what’s going on now, how is that changing what we expect to give our kids, and what they expect to get from us financially now?"

As parents, our goal should be to encourage the kids to be financially independent. However, they may not have been learning the skills they need to know. If she wants to get married, then she needs to be independent of the parents for the marriage to work (don’t pay for college). Only after she learns independence can she accept gifts (paying for college) without reverting to dependency.

Regarding paying/attending the wedding: He who pays the piper calls the tune.